


NessTech Version 1.0

by OmegaOnyx



Series: NessTech OS Distros [1]
Category: Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Mother 3
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexuality, Computer Programming, Computer Viruses, Computers, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cutesy, Dark, Dark Fantasy, Disabled Character, Fantasy, Fluff and Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Japanese Culture, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Smut, Not Canon Compliant, POV First Person, Pet Names, Platonic Romance, Psychic Abilities, Robots, Short Ness, Slice of Life, Technology, Tragedy/Comedy, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-08 01:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 23,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11635947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmegaOnyx/pseuds/OmegaOnyx
Summary: The writings of a physically disabled, eccentric, strange, and autistic boy who is capable of making complicated computer programs. Or, me.In my manifesto,  you will find my writing, and writing that Lucas has curiously written inside my journal.My name is Ness.This is the official manifesto of Nessu Michio Kusakabe.





	1. Hello World!

**Author's Note:**

> i love ness more than i love myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me too thanks

Hello, new friend. My name is Nessu Michio Kusakabe.  
I already know what you're thinking. “I can't pronounce this! Oh no!" but I'll help you.  
Nessu. Ness-oo.  
Michio. Mish-ee-oh.  
Kusakabe. Koosa-kah-bay.  
Now say it with me. Nessu Michio Kusakabe.  
I'm a bit of a geek, so to say. I like solving math problems and computer programming. Python is my favorite and I like algebra.  
I get As in all my subjects.  
Today's my fourteenth birthday.  
I decided to be responsible at fourteen and keep a journal. My life's not that interesting, really. I'm your average hermit. Don't really leave the apartment. Why am I living in an apartment, with Lucas?  
My dad lives in the apartment riiight next to mine. I'm here because there's a good school here.  
I am Japanese. I speak in a combination of Koe no Katachi-like speech impediment and Japanese “engrish.”  
You have to really listen to hear what I'm saying.  
I guess I'll formally introduce myself instead of all this rambling.  
I'm Nessu Michio Kusakabe. I'm autistic. Haha, funny. Do I have to REE now? Haha, ableism is hilarious. Tendies, am I right?  
I also have another label in my bag that starts with 'a.’ Asexual.  
And there's Lucas, I guess. I hate using the word “boyfriend.” It sounds horrible.  
I much prefer the Russian term “comrade in arms.”

Lucas is my comrade in arms. We like to read. I'm actually quite enthusiastic in real life, though it doesn't seem like it. It's hard to express emotion through text.  
Today was August 19th, 2017. My birthday!  
I had invited a bunch of people and all the people from school that I kept contact with.  
“Lucas! Lucas! It's my birthday,” I giggled.  
He pat my head. “Yes it is!”  
Lucas was short, but taller than me. I am 4’9. It is easy to be taller than me.  
“I'm so excited! I'm gonna get cake, presents, snuggles, and...cake!”  
“I'll make sure you get cake!”  
“Yaaay!”  
“Now let's wait for the guests to come!”  
I jumped on the couch with Lucas.  
Two minutes had passed and we were watching TV.  
I wiggled a bit because I was uncomfortable.  
“I know you're antsy because you're going to be showered with so many presents, but be patient!”  
“Buh.”  
I attacked him with a hug.  
“Aaaah! You're like a giant teddy bear!”  
I sat down.  
Fifteen minutes.  
“Is anyone even coming?”  
“O-Of course they will!” He said this with panic in his voice.  
“I want to play.”  
“What do you want to play?”  
“Toe wiggling.”  
“Why toe wiggling?”  
“Because I love tea and a good book.”  
“You wiggle your toes while drinking tea and reading a good book?”  
“Yes.”  
“Let me get you some tea, then!”  
I can't walk very well.  
I have cerebral palsy. Lucas doesn't know this, and I'll probably reveal it dramatically later on in my journal when you forget.  
I really should be using a wheelchair, and I do a lot, but I hate when people look at me. I crawl everywhere and pretend my legs are broken and use crutches.  
He returned with a bottle of sweet tea.  
I breathed heavily and I grew furious.  
“I wanted green tea.”  
“You should have told me that.”  
“Give me green tea too.”  
He reached to take the sweet tea.  
“No. I want both.”  
Lucas stuck his tongue out at me and went and got my green tea.  
I closed my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him when he came back.  
“Mlem?”  
“Mlem.”  
“What book do you want to read?”  
“The Communist Manifesto.”  
“N-Ness, I've already read that to you four times this week and it's only Monday. H-Have you considered you're a little too into your Russia obsession?”  
“Again.”  
“Can we read something else, Ness?”  
“Uh....The Communist Manifesto again.”  
“I've read that to you seven times this month!”  
“Das Kapital.”  
“I read that to you last week.”  
I thought for a bit.  
“Nostrils.”  
“Ness, there is no book called "nostrils."  
“...”  
“Fine, I'll read you the stupid manifesto.”  
“Yay.”  
“A spectre is haunting Europe.”  
“No.”  
“What am I doing?”  
“You're reading it wrong.”  
“How am I reading it wrong?”  
“You don't have that zazz in your voice.”  
“What zazz do you want me to have reading the Communist Manifesto of all things?”  
“You don't have that Russian accent.”  
“I can't force an accent, Ness.”  
“...”  
“Let's just read something...normal?”  
“Now I don't want to read.” I whined.  
Thirty minutes.  
“Ehehehehe.” I giggled.  
“What are you planning?”  
“Ehehehehe!”  
“You're up to something.”  
“Hehe!”  
I brought my hand up to his face.  
“Don't do it.”  
My hand cupped his nose.  
“No!”  
…  
“Got your nose!”  
I playfully took his “nose.”  
“No! Give it baaaack! I paid good money for that!”  
“Noooo!”  
His glasses fell off.  
“Got your glasses!”  
“Eee.” He took my glasses and my nose!  
“Nooo!”  
“Give me my glasses and nose back and I'll give yours back.”  
“Okey!”  
We traded.  
Lucas kind of looks like me except he's blonde.  
His mom was Korean and his dad is German-Russian so he looks like me in a sense.  
Glasses.  
Baby face.  
Only difference is the hair color...okay, and maybe a few facial features."  
“Do you ever look at someone and wonder if they have eleven toes?”  
“You have ten.”  
“Eleven.”  
“When are they gonna get here?”  
“Be patient, Loch Ness.”  
“You wanna hear my nationalities?”  
“I already know.”  
“I'm Taiwanese, Korean, mostly Japanese, and Russian!”  
“I wonder if you'd blend in if you went to Russia.”  
“They like me there. A lot of my fanbase is in Russia!”  
I forgot to mention. I have a Youtube channel named NessTech.  
Unoriginal name. I made the channel when I was seven.  
Lucas squished my cheeks.  
“Squish!”  
“Myeh!”  
Fourty five minutes.  
I sat in the apartment hallway, waiting.  
Then, someone I invited walked by.  
I shrieked, so excited someone may be coming.  
“Are you coming, Joshua?”  
“N-No, sorry.”  
“Why?”  
“I have to...straighten rocks.”  
He ran off.  
I closed the door.  
“Does no one like me, Lucas?”  
“P-People like you!”  
“Who?”  
“Arata!”  
“I don't know if Arata even likes me.”  
“He does.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Mhm!”  
“Yay!”  
“What do you want to do in the future?”  
“I wanna go to college for software developing, maybe make an antivirus company, and then when no-one suspects it, overthrow the bourgeoise!”  
“LARPer.”  
“No!”  
"A LARPer in denial.”  
“Bacon!"  
“Floppy or crispy?”  
“Both."  
“Crispy."  
"No!"  
One hour.  
“Wanna go ahead and open your presents, Nessie?”  
“No.”  
“Why?”  
“I have company coming!”  
“Ness, what if they don't-”  
He hushed himself and readjusted his glasses.  
“T-They're n-not coming, are they?”  
Lucas trembled, and quietly muttered an uncertain “i don't know.”  
Knock.  
Someone was knocking!  
I flew open the door.  
The mailman with the plushies I ordered.  
“Young man, I'm gonna need you to sign here.”  
“O-Okay.”  
I adjusted my glasses and signed the paper.  
He looked at the package, making sure the signature was valid.  
“Nessu Kusakabe, like Totoro?” He smiled.  
The funny thing is, my parents were going to name me Tatsuo Kusakabe.  
“Mhm!” I smiled.  
I took the package and shut the door.  
Ever since then, time seemed to fly by.  
I played with my plushies, and waited.  
And waited.  
And wrote the book named Nostril myself.  
And waited.  
Seven hours later.  
7:00 P.M.  
My head was in my hands.  
If anyone came, the party would be over by now.  
“N-Ness-” Lucas put his hand on my shoulder.  
“W-We should go ahead and open presents and eat cake.”  
Lucas got the cake from the fridge and set it on the counter. He took out a lighter and lit the 14 candles.  
Lucas smiled and cleared his throat.  
“Otanjyoubi omedoto  
otanjyoubi omedeto  
otanjyoubi omedeto Nessu san  
tanjyoubi omedeto!

Otanjyoubi omedoto  
otanjyoubi omedeto  
otanjyoubi omedeto Nessu san  
tanjyoubi omedeto!”  
“Blow your candles!”  
I blew the candles softly.  
“Yaaaay! Let's go open presents then we'll have cake!”  
“Okay!”  
He put a big box in front of me.  
“Open it!”  
I tore the wrapping open, showing absolutely no mercy to the poor wrapping paper.  
It was a computer I've been wanting.  
“Thank you!” I flapped my arms furiously.  
He then gave me many head pats.  
He gave me another big-ish box.  
I then showed no mercy to said wrapping paper.  
It was undoubtedly the best instrument ever made. The glorious Otamatone.  
“Ehehehehe.” He giggled.  
“Yay!”  
He passed me something fabric in plastic wrapping.  
Not surprisingly, Lucas got me a dumb body pillow as a gag gift. Nico Yazawa, to be exact.  
That was all. I did get some smaller things like more plushies and a Dio figure, but nothing noteworthy.  
“Thank you!”  
I hugged him.  
Despite my enthusiasm, a dark cloud of worry was in my mind.  
No one showed up.  
He dashed to the kitchen and cut me a big slice of cake.  
He brought it to me.  
“Yummy!”  
He turned the TV on, and when I was done with my cake, I crab walked to the trash can and threw my plate away.  
Lucas biked to the local gas station to grab sodas but while he was gone, I used this time to reflect.  
Did they not come because they didn't like me?  
Did they pretend to be my friend out of pity?  
I looked back on signs from the school year of seventh grade. They always seemed uncomfortable around me. They never liked when I accidentally touched them.  
At that moment, I had a thought that changed my life for the worse.  
I was absolutely friendless except for another friendless boy.  
The rest of the day wasn't worthy of note. I took my meds, watched some anime, played some video games, and went to sleep on the couch.  
Thank you, dear reader. I hope we can be good friends in the future.


	2. Nessudoraibu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ness's second chapter in his manifesto.

I'm honestly very surprised I remembered to update my journal the day after my birthday. Yay for me.  
I was sitting at my desk, my right arm flapping as my left typed away on the computer.  
Being a lefty is quite hard when you're a computer nerd. Keyboards aren't made for me.  
My arm stopped flapping when a genius idea came over me.  
I didn't mention this in the last chapter of my manifesto, but I have a strange hobby.  
I like to code malware. And make games.  
But, today I felt like a philanthropist. I wanted to do some good in the world.  
So I decided to make an antivirus.  
Quite strange, really. How is someone who makes malware going to make an antivirus? Well, when I was about six, I made a makeshift antivirus. It protected against remote-access Trojans, and it..admittedly, wasn't that good.   
I cracked my knuckles, adjusted my glasses so I could see the bright screen, and opened the program I always used. I had made it myself, it's basically your average code editor except with tweaks to make it more accessible for me. Dark theme, shortcuts, all that good stuff.   
The most important part is picking a name. “Nessudoraibu” came to mind.   
Nessudoraibu sounds cool. Really cool.  
I rolled with it.  
For the next couple of hours, I spent about fourteen cups of coffee and 8 cups of soda designing the prototype. It was actually pretty good! I ripped the virus database from another good open-source antivirus so I'd have a good, up to date database. I'd update it myself as time went on, but at least I'd have a nice starting point.   
After I finished, my hands flapped in excitement and I was jumping in my chair. I breathed heavily and shrieked with pure joy, and let out a few screeches. I was so happy! If you didn't know me that well, you may have assumed I was having a meltdown. Or a seizure.Both are typical of me. I rubbed my eyes and looked down the stairs to see if anyone was still awake. Lucas was watching a dumb American high school comedy. Claus sometimes crashed here- not really because he needs to, but he's just lazy and can't walk a couple blocks to go to his own apartment building. My dad was a few doors down- he trusted me to behave, and I do, so he never really checks up on me. I wanted my room to be upstairs so I could hear whoever was coming up and tell them to get out of my glorious...nest. Really, the only things I want in life are cute puppies, fluffy blankets, plushies, computers, and the satisfaction of being called “Comrade Nessie.” Funnily enough, Lucas trespassed into my Motherland at this exact moment.  
My hands balled into fists, because he had a look of utter confusion on his face from my peculiar expression of excitement.  
“What is it, Lucas?”  
“What's wrong?”  
“Nothing wrong!” I smiled.  
“Well, from what I saw, you looked like you were twitching again. Do you need your meds?”  
I forgot about my meds.  
“I need them!”   
“I'll go get them. Anything you want me to fetch or do for you also?”  
“Turn down the thermostat. It's hot in here!”  
“Are you sure it's not just you, Ness?” He winked.  
“Huh?” I tilted my head.  
Lucas just kind of had this really weird look on his face.  
“I don't get it.”  
“I'm saying that, are you sure you're not the one causing all the heat in this room?”  
He winked twice.  
“Yeah, but, body warmth can't really make a room warmer, unless there's a bunch of people in a room, and there's only two people in this room.” I scratched my head.  
Lucas had a look of desperation on his face.  
“Are you sure your looks and voice aren't causing the heat in this room?” His voice was low and monotonous.  
“Yeah, but, heat isn't audiovisual. Perhaps you have thermal vision! I wish I had thermal vision, but the only birth defects I have were having half a voice box! Lucky Lucas!”  
“I will say, you ignite a burning flame inside my heart.”  
“How are you not dead, then?”  
“Sometimes when I look at you, I get all warm and my heart is on fire!”  
“But you can't get my body heat just by looking at me.”  
"Also, if your heart is on fire, how are you not dead yet?” I said, with a look of utter confusion.  
“No it's just, looking at you makes me feel all warm and hot, and it feels like I'm sitting in front of a warm fireplace with hot chocolate.”  
“But you're not in front of a warm fireplace. You're standing in my neckbeard nest in your boxers and a white shirt trying to explain some weird joke to me.”  
Lucas kneeled down to my level and put his hands on my shoulders.  
“Nessie, have you ever heard someone call someone who is sexually attractive 'hot?’”  
“Yes, and I don't get it. I assume you're trying to tell me you find me sexually attractive.”  
Lucas got all blushy.  
“N-Ne-”  
“I will have to decline your generous offer of sexual intercourse. I am sorry.”  
“No no no no no, Nessie, I didn't mean it like th-”  
“I do not see you in a sexual way.”  
“Ness, I'm just trying to tell you you're cute!”  
“That's not what you said. You were implying I was sexually attractive, not cute.”  
“N-Ness!”  
“Do you want to reproduce by any chance? Maybe that's why you're making these advances. I am sorry, but since we are both male, if we engage in the normal reproductive cycle that most animals do, neither one of us is going to get pregnant. Maybe you're into that sort of thing.”  
“Ness, I'm not into that sort of thing! I just think you're cute!”  
“Why didn't you say so, then?”  
“Because….I wanted to be smooth and flirty.”  
“Why?”  
“I don't know. I wanted to sound cool.”  
“I have a question.”  
“Hmm?”  
“Why don't you go to the gym and pick up guys that are cooler than me?”  
“U-Uh-”  
“Like, jocks on the football team, and, they're, like, two meters tall, and they can walk, and stuff.”  
“That's boring.”  
“I mean, you'd probably have more fun with them.”  
“What, drag me to the gym and take me to the disabled kids and make me help him shove them into lockers?”  
“I wouldn't want to be shoved into a locker by you. You're strong.”  
I widened my eyes and put my hand on Lucas’s face.  
“Bub.”  
“Ehehe. You're a cute little guy.”  
“Buh buh!”  
I flapped my arms.  
“Your mind is an uncharted land, isn't it?”  
“...Maybe!”  
“Y’know, Ness, why don't you join some summer camps, or maybe go to a nerdy video game store and make friends?”  
“I tried that last year. There are no nerdy video game stores that aren't eventually overrun by bullies.”  
“What about joining a camp?”  
“Camps require hard labor.”  
“Who said they do?”  
“All of the physical therapy camps I've been to.”  
“Don't you already go to physical therapy every few weeks?”  
“Yeah but, they just make me swim. Or at least, attempt to doggy paddle.”  
“Wanna go swimming?”  
“No. I can't swim in just any pool.”  
“Maybe the beach!”  
I gave a braces-filled toothy smile.  
“Perhaps.”  
“What's this stuff you got?”  
“Please don't touch my figures.”  
“Is that a poster?”  
He wipes his finger along the poster, taking dust with it.  
“P-Please don't touch my anime posters.”  
He looks over to my shelf, examining my many computers and consoles.  
“What's this?”  
“It's an Apple Macintosh.”  
“What's that?”  
“The best thing ever.”  
He eyed my small hammer and sickle banner.  
“Where'd you get this?”  
“My dad gave it to me as a gag gift.”  
“Why?”  
“I don't know.”  
“I want one.”  
“Buy one.”  
“I don't have any money.”  
“Do what I do. Sell anime games on Steam for, like, four hundred yen.”  
“Personally, I'm used to the Nowherian ruble.”  
“You guys still use rubles?”  
“The Nowherian Federation is quite fond of Russia.”  
“Right down to the name.”  
“Leader Alexander is always quite fond of Russian culture, to the point where Russian is the most commonly used language, and not original Nowherian language.”   
Leader Alexander is the president of the Nowhere Islands, and he's a bit of a Russiaboo. If you've ever played Mother 3, don't be fooled. Tazmily is one of the most rural areas in the islands and it is commonly referred to by Nowherians as “The Florida of the Nowhere Islands.”  
“I think 400 yen is about 200 rubles.”  
“That's cheap.”  
“Yes. Or about four dollars for Western spies.”  
I wasn't really paying any attention to Lucas.  
I was feeding my ball python, Anko, and my green tree python, Axel.  
I tossed in some (pre-killed) mice to my danger noodles, and made sure the tank was the right temperature.   
He just kept looking at me all flirtily and I felt uncomfortable.  
He walked up to me, and said, “I'm going to get some shut-eye,” he said as he put the pill bottle in my hands.  
“Why can't you just shut your eyes?”  
“Ness..”  
“I'm asking a legitimate question..”  
He made his way down the stairs and I fell asleep on my desk, completely ignoring that Axel was slithering all over me.


	3. Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ness does not have good eating habits.

Six times that Ness had reached for the bag of lightly salted crisps, stuffing his face with crisps, blissfully unaware he was going to regret this.  
He was sitting in his wheelchair, all kicked back. He had (probably illegally) modified his chair to a recliner. He activates this function by using a little button on the side.   
“Ness, why are you eating so many crisps today?”  
“Lucas, why are you trying to sound British?”  
“Crisps sounds better.”  
“If you're gonna be all fancy about it, just say ‘potato snack.’”  
He said this with an ungodly amount of chips in his mouth.  
“Don't spoil dinner, though, Ness.”  
“I was planning on having more chips for dinner.”  
“That's not very healthy.”  
“Health? I don't know her.”  
“The last thing I would want for you is to get bullied for being overweight..”  
He looked down at the floor sadly.  
“You're a bit late on that.”  
Ness was not obese, merely overweight. A couple pounds, but enough to make him a bit chubby-looking. Not enough for the school to put him on a diet.  
He could not eat most healthy foods- because said foods’ textures made him gag. I was worried about Ness.  
Even though I felt guilty for this, because his disability prevents him from eating healthy foods.  
I've always felt bad for Ness.   
Though he is one of the smartest people I've ever known, he is very eccentric. And weird. I think it's cute, and I think it's cute when Ness is helping me with my homework, essentially being rigorous in his “i will help you, not do it for you,” philosophy, but he gets bullied for his disabilities.  
Speaking of homework,  
“Hey Ness, can you help me with some summer homework?”  
“Sure!”  
“So, what do you think would be a good topic for an essay about this book?”  
“You can't remember the book title ‘To Kill a Mockingbird?’”  
“It's long.”  
“Anyway, what do you think is the most interesting thing about the book?”  
He smiled and continued playing with his snake.  
I decided to work on it tomorrow.  
“I'm going upstairs. I have a larger supply of snacks upstairs.”  
He rolled upstairs.  
I did not follow him, but I could hear him rummaging through the baskets of snacks in his...as he calls it, “motherland.”  
He's not a loud eater, but he seemed to be so hungry I could hear his saliva processing the food, even from downstairs.  
“Hey Ness, what do you want for dinner?”  
He rolled to the top of the stairs, crumbs all over his face, his chair, and his clothes.  
“Bacon.”  
I huffed.  
“You ask for bacon every night.”  
“Steak.”  
“No. I'm not cooking you a steak.”  
“Bacon wrapped steak.”  
“No!”  
“Ramen.”  
“Like, instant ramen?”  
“Yes. I will cook it.”  
“I was going to cook eggs and omelettes.”  
Ness's face soured.  
“Ramen.”  
“That's not healthy!”  
“Spicy ramen noodles.”  
Ness was very stubborn.  
He did not understand when it was time to stop asking for the same thing.  
“Fine.”  
I brought out the pack of black bean ramen noodles.  
Ness smiled, and clapped his hands together softly.  
It's hard to stay mad at Ness.   
Ness was extremely smart in terms of book smarts- he knew many languages, both speaking languages and computer, could do complex math problems in his head, and was extremely skilled in computer science, and all science in general, and has a soft spot for history and geography- but there was some things he was lacking.  
Common sense.  
Social skills.  
Friends his age.  
I digress.  
Ness was surprisingly polite when eating. Usually in restaurants, I was the one getting yelled at for disgusting eating habits.  
“Here's your ramen, Ness.”  
Ness looked at his food, food sitting on a TV tray in front of his chair.  
He picked up his chopsticks and slurped some up.  
His eyes lit up.  
“Yummy!”  
I was eating an omelette.  
“Lucas?”  
“Yes, sweetie?”  
“I need to get something off my chest.”  
“Is it your shirt?” I winked.  
“Huh?”  
“You heard me.”  
“Shirt….” He stared at his noodles for a second.  
“Are you saying it's hot in here?”  
“Mhm. Because you're here.”  
“Huh?”  
“Nothing.”  
“I was going to tell you about the one time I stuck my tongue out at this rich guy on the street.”  
“That's rude.”  
“No it's not. He's the CEO of some big company. He exploits his workers.”  
“And you want to be the CEO of an antivirus company. Hypocrite.”  
“That's why I won't employ any workers and have my antivirus be open source to the world! Free antivirus!”  
“How will you make money?”  
“Remember the anime games?”  
“Oooh..”  
“In the ideal communist society, my anime games will be free and everyone will have a copy of Mochi Linux!”  
“Oh…”  
Ness was getting the ramen noodle sauce on his face and he had to keep wiping every two seconds.  
“Ness, I'd say “bless your heart!” but it looks like whatever deity is out there already did.”  
Wink.  
“Don't you mean, “bless your brain?” Because that's where all my feelings and love and sadness is.”  
“Maybe you'll get this one,” I muttered.  
“Are you from Russia? Because you're Russian my heart rate!”  
“I'm making your heart rate Russian? How much vodka does it drink?” He giggled.  
I stared at him.  
“Oooh. I get it. Russian. Rushin. I get it.”  
I giggled.  
“It took you that long?”  
“Can we go to the fabric store after dinner?”  
“Why?”  
“So I can touch everything.”  
“Why can't we go to that store that has all the fidgety toys?”  
“Screeching. Children.”  
“You screech.”  
“But...not as much as they do. They also didn't give me a discount last time I went.”  
“Haha.”  
“That's not funny.”  
“It's pretty funny.”  
“But can we go? Pleeeeaaaaaaseeeee?”  
“We'll go to both stores. Screeching children are not out and about at this hour.”  
“Okay…”  
“Alright, these pajamas work for outdoor wear, right?”  
“I don't see why they wouldn't, I mean, they're T shirts and shorts, hehe!”  
The weird thing is, even though we're from different continents, we have eerily similar Japanese facial features- and even the same accent on some words, even though mine has a little more Eastern European kick to it.  
I pushed Ness at the door and cringed as I had to push Ness down stairs to get to the elevator. We got into the elevator, and it was awkward as more and more people entered the elevator, and the strange music was playing in the background.  
As we reached the bottom floor, I gripped the handles and ran out the door of the apartment building.  
We were out on the streets of Osaka.  
“Lucas?”  
“Hmm?”  
“What's it feel like to run?”  
“Hmm... It's a bit of a free feeling, unless you've run out of stamina.”  
“Can you run while pushing me?”  
“I'm a bit skinny, so I'll run out of stamina, but I'll try.”  
I sprinted.  
Ness had a smile on his face, clapping his hands together softly.  
I stopped at the fabric store.  
“How was that?”  
He shrieked. “Great!”


	4. Fabric Stores

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ness has friends. Not ones his own age.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu

I rung the doorbell while Lucas whispered “I'm gonna go grocery shopping, okay?” I waved goodbye slowly.  
One of the old fabric store grandmas, Mrs. Wakabayashi opened the door for me.  
Ms. Sokolov, a smaller old lady simply muttered the word “Hi.” She's always grumpy.  
Mrs. Wakabayashi says it's because she has no husband and no children.  
Mrs. Wakabayashi laughed and just said, “She's a bit put off today. Telemarketers have been calling her all day.”  
The third lady, Ms. Nakamura, who is probably the happiest of the three, just chuckled.  
I picked up a piece of fabric, sitting next to the three as I brushed my hand across the soft fabric, scratching it softly and holding it up to my ear to listen to the scratching sound.  
“Ness, sweetie, so what have you been doing lately?” Mrs. Wakabayashi said.  
“I have been staying in the house mostly. I've a physical therapy session later.”  
“Wasn't it your birthday a couple of days ago?”  
“Yes, but…”  
“Don't tell me you were sad on your birthday!”  
I eyed the floor.  
“No one came.”  
“Did Arata come?”  
“No.”  
Mrs. Wakabayashi had a strange expression. “He didn't even say hi?”  
“He did come by my door, but when I asked him if he was coming, he ran off and said he needed to go straighten rocks.”  
Mrs Wakabayashi bit her lip.  
“Arata's not very sensitive.”  
“But he's still my friend, right?”  
Mrs. Wakabayashi pondered something.  
“S-Sure he is!”  
I eyed the fabric she had next to her. It looked soft. But it also looked cool. A light, fluffy fabric.  
“Mrs. Wakabayashi…”  
“Hmm?”  
“Do you mind...if I touch it?”  
“I don't mind.”  
This was the best fabric ever!  
I shrieked.  
I put it in my lap for me to buy later.  
It soon came time for my physical therapy appointment.  
I'd never walk.  
But we were trying to help me regain more control over my muscles-in a swimmy pool.  
Mrs. Wakabayashi put the fabric in a small brown bag and took the yen I brought.  
“Thank you!”  
“You're welcome, sweetie!”  
I shut the door of the small shop. I figured I'd take the train.  
I cracked my knuckles and rolled to the nearest train station.  
I zoomed down the wheelchair ramp, and came to a place full of shops and restaurants.  
I wasn't that hungry, but I wanted a little something.  
I rolled into one of the restaurants and ordered a small plate of spicy chicken wings.  
With some cola, of course. The signature drink of Nessu Kusakabe. Except, I have a goal of trying vodka. Because it'd make me infinitely more commie.  
Bone in. Nothing against boneless wings, but they're not as good. Also boneless wings are more expensive, and you just know all that guy did was wriggle the bone out.  
You don't know where is hands have been, do you?  
I was wearing a navy shirt, so sauce stains would not show up.  
I examined the first wing. It was definitely a wet sauce, but it seemed like it had some nice seasoning under the gooey, orange sauce. Before I took a bite into my first wing, a small child, I'd estimate his age to be around four years old, with his mom. They were both staring at me.  
“What happened to you, mister?”  
“Keiichi! That's rude,” the mother said, clearly embarassed.  
“I-It’s fine!”  
“Now you're not getting McDonald's.”  
The poor kid wasn't getting his chicken nuggets, and that's an injustice.  
“Ma’am, I wasn't bothered. Uh, I won't be offended if he still has his nuggets.”  
“You better be really good at the grocery store, Keiichi.” She and Keiichi walked off.  
As I rolled to the train, I saw a man. A very rich one. He was the CEO of a company that was quickly growing in the Osaka area. It made me sick watching people take photos of him. He was known for bad working conditions, and was notorious for being a terrible person. It made me so mad. I, an extremely socially awkward autistic kid, was going to do something I never had the courage to do before.  
“Oink oink!”  
Alas, he would not have ever heard me, because I stopped my sentence as as I said “oi “ in the first “oink.”  
I rolled to the train, throwing the empty box of chicken wings out.  
It was quite loud on the train, and people were brushing up against me.  
I covered up my ears, but that only did so much.  
Tears rolled down my cheeks, and even rubbing my fingers along my polished stones didn't calm me down.  
As soon as the train stopped at the destination, I felt free.  
I smiled as everyone got off the train.  
I rolled off the train, making my way to the physical therapist.  
I did stop at a store at the train station to get lots and lots of bacon to eat on my way.  
About a hundred pieces.  
I cruised down the streets of another part of Osaka as I munched on a piece of bacon, accidentally biting my lip sometimes.  
Some people stared, but I think they were jealous because they didn't have my cool wheelchair.  
The wind was blowing hard as I rolled, and I shrieked in excitement. This was really fun!  
I flapped my arms and giggled before a voice said something.  
“Is that kid on drugs?”  
They were glaring at me, a scowl on their faces.  
As I saw the building, I let the piece of bacon in my mouth hang down, and put the rest of the bacon away in my bag, and rode to the physical therapy office.  
As I rolled into the building, my therapist, Saki, was waiting for me.  
She waved her hands and walked down the hallway.  
I simply watched.  
She turned back around, and said “Nessu, please follow me.”  
I realized what her hand motion meant, and began to follow her.  
She showed me to a pool.  
“Nessu, go change into these swimming trunks, okay?”  
She handed me a pair of swimming trunks.  
“Has anyone wore these before me?”  
“Hai, but they're washed in bleach and other strong chemicals after each use. You're not wearing trunks with someone else's germs on it.”  
Red flags went off in my brain as I became visibly disgusted.  
I reluctantly went to the changing room and came out with the swimming trunks on, feeling itchy and gross.  
Saki picked me up out of my wheelchair, which automatically made me uncomfortable.  
She set me in the pool.  
It was gruelling, to say the very least. She made me try to move my legs, which only resulted in violent spasms.  
At the end of the physical therapy session, I was panting and miserable.  
I left the building, absolutely miserable.  
I decided to go to the little fidget toy store. That exists. It's niche, but it's nice.  
The man who runs it has a form of ASD, and according to the website (which, has a .moe domain name,) he wanted to help other people like him, which I think is nice.  
I rolled into the store, and when I expected a silent, slightly sensory stimulating atmosphere, I did not expect to start uncontrollably coughing.  
Two young parents, with their son.  
The mother seemed to be around maybe in her early twenties, with her son around five or six. Primary school age. The father looked to be a bit older than the mother, maybe mid twenties.  
She was wearing too much perfume.  
Even after they left, the sickly sweet floral scent lingered in the atmosphere.  
I have a mild form of asthma, not as bad as Ninten, but, it's there.  
I was lucky I didn't have an attack, because I had forgotten to put my inhaler in my backpack before I left. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a cocktail of mental, developmental and physical disabilities.  
I don't anymore, because I realise without some of my disorders, I wouldn't have the same personality. I have learned to accept myself. My goal isn't to get cured anymore. Some people have learned to suppress their autism symptoms, but I don't have that virtue.  
As I rolled through the aisles, I had amassed a great collection of the toys in the shopping bag that was provided at the entrance. Spinner rings, chewable toys, and a bunch of other stuff.  
I have lots of spinner rings. It's almost a special interest. Sometimes I put a black one on my middle finger. It's like a thing asexual people do. It's like a symbol.  
Sexual attraction is really weird. I don't get it. Arousal is weird too. I don't feel it. I don't get it. Sex is gross.  
Sometimes I wonder if I'm broken. The media and culture today makes it sound like it's mandatory. Am I broken? I don't know, maybe. What do I know, I'm a 14 year old kid with an extremely unstable will to live and mental state. I was just talking about stim toys and asexuality a few sentences ago and now I'm talking about the crushing psychological weight of being alive. Why am I still alive? I have no reason to exist. There's no meaning. Is there a god? I hope so. Maybe there is.  
Anyway, once I got up to the counter, I was exhausted, from a long day of eating junk food and swimming. And having a crisis. In the middle of the spinner aisle.  
As I rolled out, I adjusted my glasses, and made my way to the train.  
Someone stopped me. A police officer.  
“Where's your caretaker?”  
I froze. I was so shy, and I was worried I was gonna go to jail for the night. I've heard bad things about jail. Once, I tutored a kid that had been there, and he made it sound like hell on earth. He described it as a loud, hot place with mean people there and gross food. Sounded bad.  
The officer cleared his throat and said once more, a bit stern this time.  
“Where is your caretaker?”  
I gulped. And finally spat out,  
“I don't have one!”  
The man looked bewildered, and quietly said, “Very well. Carry on.”  
As I entered the train station, I was again hungry. Lucas promised to buy sweet things at the market, so I was anticipating that.  
The train ride home wasn't as bad as this morning. Bad. But not as bad.  
It's now evening. The moon is shining, and it's a crescent. It's pretty.  
It was cold, and it was making my cheeks shine red.  
As I rolled to the train, I was, well, extremely tired. I wanted to go home. And nap. And cuddle with my plushies. But first, I had to go through my last obstacle.  
The train ride home.  
As I rolled onto the train, I was pleasantly surprised. It was quiet. Sensory stimulating, but not overloading. As a matter of fact, I was getting sleepy. My hospital mask was uncomfortable at this point. When I'm sleepy, sensory stimulation becomes more overwhelming. But, when I sleep, I always have the TV on. I'm very scared of the dark.  
As the train came to a halt, I put my backpack on and rolled out. It was getting dark outside.  
But before I went to my building, I decided to do something quick.  
I checked my watch. It's late, but not too late. I could probably run into the convenience store and have time to spare.  
“Hmm.”  
I eyed the snacks. I then eyed my stomach.  
My snacks are more important than my health. I'm not…that fat, am I? I'm just a little chubby.  
Until I remember my school nurse yelling at me.  
“Ness, you are one hundred and seventy eight pounds! Lose some weight!”  
I'm very horizontally gifted. I'll leave it at that.  
I put aside health concerns and rolled into the small store.  
One bag of chips.  
Then I saw a new flavor of my favorite soda. Matcha.  
Then another bag of chips made its way into my arms.  
At the end of my small snack run I had managed to get 5 bags of snacks.  
I put them into the back of my chair. Lucas would...be disappointed at my lack of self control.  
As I made my way to the building, I was excited. I haven't seen my love all day. I was waiting for them to envelope me in their warmth.  
Of course, I'm talking about my favorite blankie.  
I saw the building. I was so excited to wrap up in a blanket and eat chips and drink lots of soda while watching Azumanga Daioh or something.  
I walked through the door and rolled to the elevator. I ran to my room. I knocked.  
Lucas answered it.  
“How are you? I haven't seen you all day!”  
“I got yummy snacks and cool stuff!”  
“What'd you get?”  
“I got this super yummy new flavor of that soda I like. And these chips and this candy!”  
“What else?”  
“I got a cool keyboard thing. And this squishy ball. And a cool cube thing.”  
I fiddled with the ball.  
“Ooh, that squishy ball looks cool.”  
He was looking over my shoulder.  
I squished the ball and it popped in my hands.  
“Oh dear, how expensive was it?”  
I thought for a moment. “100 yen.”  
“At least it was cheap…”  
“Now I'm sad.”  
“Don't be. It's just a toy!”  
“Can I go wrap in my blankie now?”  
“Only if you let me come with you!”  
“Okay!”  
“I find it cute when you say that.”  
He picked me up.  
“Let's gooooo!” I giggled.  
Lucas brought the snacks with us.  
“What do you want to watch?”  
“Sailor Moon.”  
“Boo. Too girly.”  
“I'm not watching another sports anime.”  
“Boo. I like sports anime.”  
“I wanna watch a magical girl anime.”  
“You like anything with cute girls.”  
“You've never even watched it. You'll probably like it.”  
“I watched it when I was younger. It was Nowherian society's idea of a girl's anime, so all my friends pressured me into watching it.”  
I looked confused for a moment.  
“I wasn't born a boy. I am transgender.  
“Cool!”  
“I don't wanna go back to school,” he said.  
“Me neither. It's a long ways away anyway.”  
“I stink and I don't have good hygiene.”  
“You don't stink.”  
“Yeah I do. I smell like garlic.”  
He pat my head and simply said, “You smell like vanilla.”  
“No one wants to be my friend.”  
“That's not truuuue!”  
“It was in elementary school. And seventh grade. And sixth.”  
“Middle schoolers are mean. I wonder what high school is gonna be like.”  
“I wonder.”  
“You seem pretty tired, Ness. Want to watch a relaxing anime?”  
“Like what?”  
“There no relaxing anime, are there?”  
“Not that I know of.”  
“What a dilemma.”  
“This is hard.”  
“I'm gonna go sleepy.”  
“I hope you sleep well.”  
And then I went sleepy.  
It was a pleasant sleep. Of course it was, I had Lucas, my favorite plushie, and my favorite blanket and pillow. I have had this blanket since I was born. It's really big and really soft and smells of lavender and berries.  
I shall bid you farewell for now, friend!


	5. Enduring the Youthful Redback Executioner's Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas goes missing.  
> Why?  
> Because Lucas is dating the same boy that happens to be Akari's onee-chan.  
> That's a crime worth the.....death penalty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dark chapters are back!

 

It was a steaming hot summer morning.

Lucas was asleep, while I was programming an update of Nessudoraibu where it would detect scammer popups and phishing attacks.

I decided to go take a bath, because I was a sweating, dirty mess.

I slipped off my clothes, and turned on the frigid water.

I waited for the water to become scalding hot, and jumped in the tub.

I squirted out shampoo, and began lathering my hair.

"NESS! MY COMPUTER IS FULL!"  
I quickly grabbed my robe and ran.

"I'm taking a shower!" I yelled.  
"Clean my computer! It's full!" Lucas yelled.

"Fine.." I muttered, sitting down at his desk.

"Lucas, this thing has over three terabytes of memory, and we just got it last month, for your birthday. Remember, cookie dough?'

"Yeah...?"  
"What stuff do you have on this thing?"

"Uh, pictures, Spotify, um, Discord, Chrome, Steam and some games, and, um, uh...Nessudoraibu...and Vocaloid. Y'know, for my electronic music?."

"Not much, for a 3TB PC. That means you have over a..." I checked the storage.

"A terabyte of pictures." I said.

"Okay.." Lucas confirmed.  
"Now, let me just check what pictures you ha-OH MY SWEET LORD JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF'S GRACE THAT WAS BESTOWED ON THIS HOLY AND HUMBLE LAND GRANTED BY GOD THE CREATOR HIMSELF WHAT IS THIS?!" I yelled.

"Uh, it's..." Lucas stuttered.

"What is this?! Why is that guy kissing the other dude's back?!"

"Um, uh..."

"This is weird."

"Let's move away from my boy's love folder..."  
"Yeah."  
"You need to delete some of your pictures."  
"But why?"  
"It'll free up a lot of space."  
"Okay, Ness! Thanks for helping me!"  
"I'm gonna go finish my shower."  
"I'm gonna make some coffee if you need me."  
"Wanna go to the mall later?"  
"Sure."  
I ran back to the shower, my already moist body craving moisture.

I began lathering my body in soap. 

When I was clean, I turned the water off.

I began putting my clothes on.

As soon as I stepped out, I said, "Lucas! Can you open a Ramune for me?"

No response.

 "Lucas! Where are you?"

"Lukey!"

"Lucas! This isn't funny!"

"Lucas..oh no...is this what Arata told me?"

"Lucaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!"

I looked under the bed.

"Nope."  
I looked in his room.

"Nobody here."

I checked the nearby Mcdonalds.  
"Nope."  
After I walked back and called him to no avail,

I heard a slow knock on the door.

It was Akari, wearing a black frilly dress and holding her teddy bear.

"Akari, not now..I'm trying to find Lucas."  
"I know where he is, onee-chan."

"No, you don't. There's plenty of blonde guys who like Snail's House."

"Snail's House shirt, blonde, kinda tall, sorta muscular?"  
"Yes! Now that's the one! Now that's the one!"

"I'm glad I can help, onee-chan! I love you!"

"Oh, I don't deserve that. Plus I'm already dating.."  
"You deserve more than one person telling their love for you!"  
She kissed me on the cheek and rubbed her face against my waist.

"S-Stop!"  
"But I love you, onee-chan!"

"Lucas will be so mad once he discovers that a seven year old has been hugging on me.."  
"Don't worry!"  
"Okay, thank you so much."  
"Follow me."

I followed Akari out of our apartment complex.

She grabbed my arm and began to run very fast towards their house.

"Akari! Slow down!"

"No! This is fun, hehe!"

"F-Fine..."

We tread through a forest.

"I love you, onee-chan."  
"Yeah...I love you too. As a friend, of course."  
"Hmph."

"Hmph what?"  
"Guess what I did to Lucas."  
All the happiness in my face drained.

"What did you do to him! Let go of me, you creep!"

"If you want to write Lucas's gravestone message, you best come with me."

"No! You hurt him, didn't you?!"

"Maybe, maybe not.."

"O-Okay..."

"Lucas is here?"  
"Yes."  
  


Akari had done something horrible to Lucas, like a...

yandere.

Arata communicated with me via telepathy.  
"I'll help you. Just give it a few minutes. She lets her guard down with you."  
He slipped a button in my hand.

"Press this if you need me ASAP."

I saw Lucas, and I screamed.

He was crying his eyes out, and he had several bloody wounds.

Once, Lucas acted like a yandere for show, but he didn't hurt Paula.

Akari wasn't playing.

There was bloody knives and weapons everywhere.

Lucas was tied to a chair.

"N-Ness...save yourself.."  
"No."

"I haven't harmed him...lethally."

"W-Why would you do this?! I thought you were a sweet little girl who had slightly homicidal tendencies!"  
"Oh, you're so dumb, onee-chan."  
"Why are you doing this to Lucas? Just leave him alone!"  
"I can keep him alive, but I have a demand."

"W-What..?"  
"Break up."  
"N-No!" Lucas yelled.

Akari untied Lucas and grabbed an axe.  
"Quite a noble goal. Sacrificing your life."  
"W-What are you going to to to him?!"  
"Isn't it obvious?"  
"N-No!" I yelled.

"Say goodbye, onee-chan!"  
"N-NO!"

It was too late.

Blood spilling everywhere, when suddenly, time froze.

Arata ran down the stairs...  
"I-I can't believe I let this happen...Lucas is...dead."  
"I created a restore point in time when Akari asked you to break up."  
"Can you reset to it?"  
"Why wouldn't I?"  
"Why didn't you just save him?"

"I wanted to see how Akari would react. Now, there's a time limit to this. If we don't hurry up, Lucas will be dead forever."  
"O-Okay..."

He summoned a circle and traveled through the continuum.

We arrived at the restore point.

Arata began singing a lullaby to her, and her pink eyes turned into baby blue eyes once more, and she fell fast asleep.

"Just kidding, onee-chan!" Akari yelled, attempting to hit Lucas by surprise.

"Ness! Distract her!"  
I began hugging Akari while Arata did something.

He had constructed a spider out of alchemy.

"Akari...!"  
"Yeah, onee-sama?"  
"Here's a spider. Go wild."  
She began killing the spider like she usually does.  
"Akari...why are you so clingy?" I asked.

"Onee-sama's so mean to be...you're the only figure I see as an actual big brother...onee-chan.."  
"Why did you try to kill Lucas?"  
"Sometimes...I get so mad..."  
"Hmm?"  
"I made a deal with a shady mage once...said I would become very powerful, and eliminate all who wronged me."  
"Probably because you're young."  
"That was in my past life."  
"Hmm?"  
"That curse shall haunt my soul for all eternity, Ness. A demon lives inside me that brings out my psychopathic side."  
"So that's why you calmed down once you killed the spider?"

"Yes."

I left with Lucas.

"Whoa, Lucas, what happened to you?"  
"Did you fall into the way of a chainsaw?"  
"Are you a character from Attack on Titan?"  
I sat down Lucas on my bed. I got out several bandages.

I kissed the wounds before bandaging them.

"Lucas, you've had a long day, obviously."

"Yeah..?"  
"You need rest."

"Good night, Lucas. I'm going to work on Nessudoraibu now."  
"Okay."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. I've always hated you, Nessu.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas goes into detail of Ness's peculiar habits.

Hey, everyone's favorite blonde kid is back.

It's me, Lucas.

Ness doesn't seem to go detail of our days.

So, we needed to go to school to meet our teacher and all that jazz.

Our alarm blared.

"Nessie...we have to wake up..."  
"Okay."  
He shot out of bed.

"Wait for me!" I giggled.

He eyed the line of cosmetics we had, mouth wash, shaving cream, deodorant, and face wash.  
"Is someone messing with me today? These are all out of order."  
He organized them, tallest to shortest in a frantic manner.

"Just wash your hands, Ness." he said to himself.

He washed his hands, and straightened the entire counter while he was at it.

He went to go dry his hands, but when he put the towel back on the rack, it wasn't straight.

"Just leave it. Are you OCD or something?"  
"Funny you say that. Guess what Claus took me to get diagnosed with? And guess what pills I got last week?"

"So that's why since the day we met you frantically straightened everything and had weird habits. Wait, I thought you had autism."

"A lot of people have more than one."

"Ah."

We brushed our teeth, threw on our clothes, and head out the door.

"Lucas, can I hold your hand?"  
"Sure."  
Ness stepped on a crack.

"Ugh, gotta start over." he muttered.  
He walked back to where we started walking.  
He then walked up to me, careful to not step on any cracks.

He grabbed my hand and held it.

"Mm." he whispered.

"What's wrong?" I asked?

"I wanna take a bath with you." he whined.  
"Maybe later. You always look cute when you go and get us both swimming trunks." I admitted.

"Hey! I don't want to be completely naked!" he yelled.

"Cute." I chuckled.  
"I'm not cute!" he screamed.  
"Just keep telling yourself that.

"These uniforms are uncomfortable." he pouted.  
"Deal with it, Ness."  
"A vending machine." he said in awe.

"I don't have any money!" I said, eyeing my wallet.  
"I do!"

"Okay, let's get something."  
"Wait..."

"Hmm?"  
"You have a credit card, Lucas!"

"I'm not paying for it!"  
"Fine then!"

He bought two Sprites for us.

He eyed kids down the street playing with their fidget spinners.  
"Degenerates. I bet none of them even have extremely mild Asperger's."  
"You've been complaining about kids who have fidget spinners for two weeks now, Ness."

"It's true. I don't have any money and someone like me who needs something to fidget with can't buy it."  
"You run a multi-million dollar antivirus company."

"Stupid businessmen say all of my money from Nessudoraibu gets held onto until I'm eighteen."  
"That makes sense..."  
"I wanna buy Persona 5 with some of my Nessudoraibu money but no!"  
"You're not even old enough to play Persona 5."

"Says the one who plays more shooters than a twelve year old screaming into a mic on Call of Duty."

"Geez... why are you so grumpy today?"

"Why are you so irritating today?"

"You're cute when you're mad."  
"Wipe that smirk off your face or I'm about to become adorable."

"We're here."

"Naito Middle."

We stepped into the large building.

It had paintings of cherry blossoms everywhere.

It was a trilingual school. It spoke Korean, Japanese, and English.

Good, so I can write in Korean, the language I'm more comfortable writing in.

I know very basic kanji, and I'm decent in English.

He gazed upon his friend, Arata.

"Arata, long time no see!"  
"Nessu, I need to speak to you."

He pulled him into a room, and I listened.  
"Arata, what do you need?"  
"Say it..."  
"Say what?"  
"I made my sister a psychopath, so I will apologize by killing myself." Arata yelled.  
"W-What?"  
"I know you hate me. I've always hated you, Nessu. Your feeling is mutual."  
"I hate myself, not anyone else!"  
"Quit bashing yourself, retard." Arata growled.  
"R-Retard?"  
"You think you don't look like a little retard flapping your arms, fidgeting with your pencil, and licking your fingers? I got news for you, then."

"I thought we were friends!"  
"Friends? With a gay boy like you? Please."  
"B-But why did you watch Dragon Ball with me, and play video games with me..."  
"Because you kept clinging onto me, doesn't surprise me. What else would I expect from a little autistic gay boy?"

"Arata, s-stop!"  
"You act like you're so much better than everyone else. Wearing those cutesy jackets, dumb nerd  shirts, expensive medications, acting like you're SO much better than us all because you can code a little Yandere Simulator mod? Give me a break."  
"I'm s-sorry... I'll give you my lunch money." I thought this tactic would work because he was really acting like a stereotypical jock in some bad high school movie.

"Quit mocking me, retard!"

"D-Don't hit me!"  
"How 'bout I do anyway?"  
He slammed him against the wall and kicked him in his face, neck, and even...yeah...you know.

"S-Stop! Lucas is probably-"  
" ** _LUKEY CAN WAIT, RETARD."_**

At that point, I had it. I barged into that little custodial room.

"Oh, how cute. The other autist is standing up for his mentally retarded boyfriend, how precious."

"I will throw you so hard you'll collide with the moon hologram The Earth is flat, you know."

"Big brother!" Akari sang.

"Yes, Akari."

"HAVE YOU BEEN HURTING ONEE-CHAN?"  
"No.."  
"C'mon! There's a sweet stand!"  
"Okay..."  
Ness pulled me down and sobbed into my chest.

"Lucas...?"  
"Yes, my Ness?"  
"N-Nothing."  
We tried every sweet at the sweet stand, getting so high off of doughnuts our sorrows paused.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched Koe no Katachi.


	7. Don't call me dad anymore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas has a flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thAT DARNED FLINT I SWEAR-

"Hey, Ness, there seems to be malware on my computer." Lucas said, interrupting my Joel stream.  
"Lucas, shut up for a second, Joel's downloading Protogent."  
"Ness, I have the MEMZ trojan."  
"Whoa, lemme see."  
"Tricked you."  
"It's a boring browser hijacker, yay..." I groaned.  
"Why are you frowning over the virus being minor?"  
"I don't know...hmm...seems to be spyware." I answered.  
"Sounds scary."  
"Not too serious...just put it in quarantine, and delete it and volia."  
"Thank you, my computer was horrendously slow, and you saved me!"  
"No problem, milk."

Lucas flushed at the sudden pet name. "Oh, Ness."  
"Hey, Lucas..."

"Yes, Nessie?"

"You said we were going to the Nowhere Islands a month ago....but when you came home to ask your dad, you said the trip was canceled."

He dropped the bag of Doritos in his hand.

_"Hey, dad, can I tell you something?"_

_"Yes?"_  
_"I'm dating someone!"  
"Who's the unlucky girl..."_

_"It's not a girl, it's a guy!"_

_The nanometer of happiness in his face drained._

_"I thought you were better than those lowlifes."  
_

_Dad shook his head in dissapointment._

_"Well, can't judge a book by its cover, Lucas. What's he like?"_

_"Well, he's sweet, cute, nerdy...smart, honest..."_  
_"Okay...what's his name?"_  
_"His name is Nessu Michio Kusakabe, but we call him Ness."_  
_"Japanese degenerates..."_  
_"H-He has a Youtube..."_

_"Let me see."_

_He finished the video._  
_"This kid a retard or something?"_

_"He is autistic and he does have OCD.."_

_"That makes it even worse that you would date a retard."_

_"He's not a retard! He can still function!"_

_"I won't stand to see you date a lowlife like him...separate now."_  
_"No!"_

_"What did you just say, boy?"_

_"I'm never separating with the one I love, deal with the fact I don't love girls."_

_He grabbed the whip near the mantle._

_"You sure you want to say that again?"_

_"I'll say it once more. I WON'T SEPARATE FROM HIM!"_

_He whipped me._

_"Guess who's not my son anymore, Lucas?"_

_I froze in my place._

_My eyes widened, and I began to tear up._

_"w-what did you just say, dad?"_

_"I'm disowning you, Lucas."  
"DAD! NO! CAN'T WE WORK SOMETHING OUT?!" I pleaded, on my knees._

_"Don't call me dad. I refuse to be the father of an idiot who would date a retard."_

_"DAD! WHY?! I WON'T BRING HIM OVER TO THIS HOUSE! PLEASE!"_

_"Having a son like you would make me disappointed, which I already am with you. You've been nothing but dead weight since you were born..."_

_"Dad...please...no..."  
"I refuse to be the grandfather of autistic children."_

_"Dad...no....I love you..."  
"You should have died at birth, maggot."_

_"Dad! I love you with my entire heart!"_

_"Get out of the house. I never want to see your face again."_

_He grabbed a piece of paper, and began filling it out._

_Claus...the angel....he was brought to life...he did not have to do this...but he did it anyway.  
"Well, I'm going too!" Claus yelled._

_"Suit yourself, worm." He grabbed another piece of paper._

_"Dad...please...don't do this to us."_

_"Oh, I will."_  
"Where are we supposed to go..?"  
"To the little Japanese boy's house, where else?"

_"Better than living here.." Claus muttered._

_I ran up to him._

_I got on my knees and cried on his shoes._

_"Dad! I love you! Please keep me..!"_

_"Stand up."_

_"LUCAS! STAY DOWN!" Claus yelled._

_I stood up._

_He shot me in the stomach with a weak handgun._

_I dropped to my knees._

_Claus picked me up._

_"Let's go to Valla...your apartment, right?"  
"Y-Yes..." I cried._

"Lucas...Lucas...." I waved my hand in front of his face.

"Y-Yeah?"  
"What happened just then?"  
He explained his flashback in full detail.

"That's horrible.."

He began sobbing.

"And he always hit and abused me...he would whip me, attach spikes to the whip, punch me in the stomach, hit me in the legs with a bat, burned me, and even cut me.."  
"You didn't deserve that..."

"Can we change the subject?"

"Let's watch Ghibli movies all day!"

"Sure.."  
After we watched  _My Neighbor Totoro, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke,_ and  _A Silent Voice,_ (I know that isn't a Ghibli movie but it's still a great film, okay.) it was very late.

The stars were aligned in a way that it resembled a heart.

We got onto the roofed deck, and stared out.

It was raining, but it didn't hinder the beauty of the sakura trees and their petals swaying gracefully onto the skyscrapers near us.

We lived in the tallest building in the city, so we made a point not to fall.

"Ness, I brought some bottles of Ramune."  
"Thanks, Lucas."  
"How do you open this thing?!"

"Here, let me."  
I cracked it open and set it near his lap.

"Ness, what if life was like a fanfiction?" he asked.  
"A fanfiction?"   
"Everything goes great for the characters, and the characters have no flaws." He stuttered.  
"It would be boring..?" I answered.  
"Yeah. The schoolboy gets the star of the high school baseball team in the end." he chuckled.  
"They hate each other at first, but they miraculously get there in the end." I observed.  
"What if our life is a fanfiction?" He said out of a sudden existential crisis.  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
"Our lives were being controlled by some brown-haired, verge of weeaboo teenage girl who needs to get a life on a lounge chair on her laptop, saying how cute we are on Miiverse and Discord and getting a Lucky Star fan to judge it."  
"That's...oddly specific." I said.

"Hmm. Just think about it, though."  
"You're giving me an existential crisis!"

"I was kidding!"  
"Why are you so mean?!"  
"Oh, quit pouting, you big baby."  
"Hm."

"I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, Lucas."  
"Me neither."

 

 

 

 


	8. where are you lucas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness nessness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the Miiverse is ending.  
> also lighthearted and sappy chapter at the beginning but gets dark  
> R.I.P.  
> If you're here from Miiverse, my AO3 is an awkward social media so- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3RsU6q3n8EYG_pHotzTSCg  
> Discord tag-OmegaOnyx#1210  
> Reddit- https://www.reddit.com/user/OmegaOnyx/  
> Steam- https://steamcommunity.com/id/ssseeennnpppaaaiii/  
> Twitch- https://www.twitch.tv/memesenpai1  
> 

"Hey, Ness...I haven't seen you wear your glasses for a few days..." Lucas whispered, caressing my back in a way that made me a flustered mess.

"Uh.." I said in a scared manner.

"C'mon. Answer me.

"You remember Arata, right?" I stuttered.

"Yeah, the degenerate that saved my life and called you a retard?"

"So, he hates me now, and he broke a pair of glasses." I said quietly.  
Lucas's face darkened.

His eyes dissolved into blue with a slight red tint.

"What pair of glasses..."

"Well, he broke the black thick rimmed ones. He only slightly damaged the blue ones with the chibi drawings of me on it." I said in a tone that one could call "autistic screeching."  
"But I loved both of those..." he said, laughing maliciously.   
"I'm going to get the black ones fixed soon. I fixed the blue ones myself."

"Let's go ki- talk to him tomorrow."  
"Nah. School starts soon and I want to rest."

"I know I'll have some fun when Arata tries to fight back, mmn."

Lucas did this a lot.

Sometimes he acted like a psychopath.

Sometimes he acted seductive.

Sometimes he acted rude.

I'm told these are all side-effects from all the meds he's on, though I think that the two first traits I had mentioned are part of his personality.

"Nearsighted or farsighted?" I asked  
"Farsighted."  
"I'm nearsighted. Twelve years of computer programming does stuff to your eyes."

"I see how that is." He laughed.

"Well, good night." I said.

"No, stay up with me." Lucas pouted,

"The bags under my eyes are bad enough. I don't want to worsen them." 

"You're so boring. What ever happened to having good fun?"

"Well..."

"Hmm?"

"All I've ever wanted was to go back."

"Go back...?"  
"To go back. Everyone expects me to be so mature.."

"Mature..?"

"To abandon my childishness and act more like an adult."

"I know how that feels." he chuckled.

"Heh." I chuckled.

"Wait, I have an idea." he smirked.

"What?"

He began hopping around the room.

I was always scared to do this, but I laughed and joined him.

"I love you!" I squealed, letting my stupid Japanese accent out.

"I love you too!" he squealed, speaking with a slight Southern accent.

He hugged me tight and tackled me onto the bed, licking my ear in a platonic manner.

"Hey!" I yelled.

I tackled him, and we began wrestling each other in a rather gentle manner, with giggles filling the air.

"Ness, this is embarassing, but..."

"Hmm?"

"I wanna play with your figures. The only thing my dad let me do was let my figures have little adventures."

"I don't know if you can do that with Nendoroids, but I'll try."

This is the part of the chapter where it gets embarassing.

Leave now if you don't want to cringe.

We went to the other room and sat down on the blue with white polka dot rug in the middle of the carpet.

"I challange you to a battle!" Lucas giggled.

"You're on." I said.

"Yuuna, you're done!" he giggled, knocking my Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero figure out of my hand and onto the rug with his Link figure.

"What about Tomoko?!" I yelled, knocking his figure out with my Tomoko Kuroki figure.

"Clever...you're subject toMadoka's wrath!" He retaliated.

"That's not even how she fights! That's it, you're being killed by the fury of  ** _YUURI KATSUKI!"_** I screamed.

"Not before my Miku kills him!"

"Konata Izumi murders Miku!"

"Betrayal! Tsukasa Hiiragi kills Konata!"

"And now for the final showdown, Lucas."

"Saitama vs Genos, Ness."

Basically, the rules were for all of these fights, if the figure got knocked out of your hand, you lost, unless you caught it.

Lucas went straight for the kill, but I caught Genos in time.

I kicked Saitama out of his hand, but he caught it with his feet.

He charged at Genos, screaming, "ONE PUNCH!"

Genos fell onto the rug.

I had lost.

"N-No..."  
"I won! I won! You know what that means?!"  
"No...?"  
He picked me up and began heating up the shower.  "Super cuddle!"

We jumped into the shower with swimming trunks on.

Lucas began to lose his childlike sense, and began acting weird.  
"Hey, Nessie..."

"Uh, what...?"  
"Can I wash your...back?"  
"Okay.."

He massaged it a bit, and kissed it.

"Lucas, this is kinda weird..."  
He chuckled and didn't say anything.

"I have to take my medication..."  
"Your medication can wait."

"I need to take it....I go partially insane without it, Lucas."

"Fine." he pouted.

I put my pill in my mouth and began to reach for my water.

It wasn't there.

I looked everywhere for a drink.

The pill tasted awful.   
I spotted Lucas's bottle of water.

I didn't care.

I downed it.

I realized that this was the water he put that gross lemonade powder in.

I spit it out.  
I had already swallowed the pill, thank god.

Lucas was lying on the bed, taking his nap.

Hm. Cute.

"ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness ness" I heard in the shadows.

I had heard this noise from Giygas.

Yeah, remember that guy?  
You probably forgot that I was Ness from Earthbound.

They edited out all my programming stuff to avoid copyright. Degenerates.

Couldn't you put "Window Pane 94" or some lazy stuff like that? It's not that hard.

"Ness...come over here.." The voice said.

I followed, against my will, like someone was controlling me.

"I'll give you everything you've ever wanted.." the voice said.

It sounded distinctly of Kodo.

"What have you ever wanted in your life..."

"Um...a Windows ME?"

"I know there's something else, boy."  
"Uh, to get married to Lucas?"

"If you think I don't think there's something else, you're too dumb to be coding."

"Uh...there's not much else.."

"Well, then, I'll force you to say it."

My purple eyes turned into glowing magenta.

"I want to own something big...I want people to look up to me and feel inspired by me." I blurted out against my will. I did want people to feel inspired by me. I did want to own something big, such as a huge company, selling VPNs, antiviruses, operating systems, hardware, and stuff.

"Like what...?"

"I..want to own a company."

"Ah...I'm reading your thoughts.."

I gulped.

"You want to be loved...and you want to be worshipped like a god."  
"W-What?!"

"You've been wrong so many times in your life, Ness."  
"T-True."

"You just want people to love you like a god..."

"M-Maybe..."

"Let's make a deal..."

"A d-deal?!"

"A chunk of your soul....to eliminate everyone who ever wrongs you again."

"Hmm...sounds interesting."

"So, what'll it be, kid?" Kodo pulled out a cigarette and lit it and began puffing the fumes in my face.

I coughed.

"Nobody will ever call me a retard ever again?"  
"I'll go back in time and make it so you won't even have autism, boy."

"Sure."

"NESS!" a familiar voice yelled.

It was Akari.

"D-Don't do it! This guy is the dude who made me psychotic! It's all a scam."  
"But the autism part..."  
"That'll cause drastic personality changes. I used to be cheerful and nerdy, now I'm psychotic and murderous."

"Don't listen to her, boy.." Kodo laughed.

"Trust me on this, Ness. Onee-chan. The boy who saved the world from Giygas. The same guy told me he'd cure my depression."

"You could have killed that blonde brat..." he yelled.

He began transforming into something.

Red smoke filled the air.

Giygas...?

This guy again?

Akari got on her knees, and prayed.

"Dear space lord Aito....please bring our poor souls back to the restore point..

Please."

We traveled back to where Lucas was taking a nap.

"Goodbye, Ness." Akari jumped out of the window and ran to her house.

"Ness, why aren't we snuggling right now...?"  
"Let me get my pajamas on."

"You're so cute, Ness."

"Hm."

"What's wrong?"  
"What if I didn't have autism?"  
"I think it's a part of your charm, Nessie.."

"Y-You've seen me act weird!"

"Oh, big deal, you lick your fingers, jump around, play with fidget toys, and sometimes can't talk."

"What if I was normal?"

"You're weird, but I like that."

"I-Is my voice weird?"  
"It's different...but it's cute."

"What do I sound like?"  
"A mix between Kanna Kamui and Len Kagamine."

"Hmm.."

"Deal with it! You're adorable!"  
"You're cute too.."

Lucas fell off the bed.

"Oww.."  
"Lucas!"  
"My leg..."  
"Y-Your leg?!"

"It's broken..."

"Oh."

"C-Call 911, Ness!"  
I dialed. Soon enough, we were at the hospital.  
"L-Lucas...you could just get a cast.."  
"The doctor said I was too thin to get a cast."

"S-So.."

"They'll have to either feed me through a needle, or manually put the bone back."  
The doctors rushed in.

"Kid, get out, it's gonna get messy."  
"Okay."

Outside of the room, I heard cries of pain.

I blacked out.

Lucas pat my head to wake up.

"L-Lucas.."  
"C'mon. This hospital's atmosphere gives me the creeps."

"O-Okay."  
We came back to our apartment.

"Lucas, you look cute when you're on those.."  
"C-Cute?!"

"You're being so coordinated.."  
"It's hard.."  
"Want me to rub your leg..?"  
"Yes please."

I began kissing it and rubbing his leg.

"Ness, you can stop now."  
"Wanna watch an episode of Bad Unboxing to calm your nerves?"  
"Sure."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE LISTENED TO COWBELLY'S OUTRO WHILE WRITING THIS  
> I MAY OR MAY NOT LISTENED TO THE JOJO THEMES WHILE WRITING THIS


	9. ファミリー

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ness gets nostalgic about a charm bracelet.  
> little lighthearted chapter <3333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While you were getting ready for prom, I was studying Windows 95.

"Hey, Ness, guess what?"  
"What.." I groaned, being so into my game of  _Persona 5_ I couldn't focus on anything else.

"I have something for you."

"Hmm?"

"I-It's a, uh, bracelet..."  
"Thank you!"  
"Y-You're welcome."  
It was a charm bracelet, with old Windows 95 icons and the Windows 95 logo itself.

Nostalgia hit me like a wave would hit you at a beach.

See, my parents were poor. My dad was struggling to get a job, and Mom worked at a grocery store, Mcdonalds, and as a part time animator at a local TV station.

The only computer we had was an old Windows 95 desktop.

I was curious on how it worked, so I messed around on it.

I was enamored by the startup sound, and began messing around.

We managed to find really cheap dial-up internet.

I was so enamored by this computer when I was four, even though there was Windows 7.

My dad got a really sweet deal as a programmer, and soon enough, we were lower upper class.

I got every operating system and taught myself programming.

But out of all of my computers, be it my high spec Linux or my experimental computer Raspberry Pi Zero W, my favorite was still Windows 95.

Its old-school yet charming interface was amazing.

I accepted the bracelet and cried.

Lucas giggled.

"You like it?"  
"I-I love it."

I tackled Lucas with a hug.

"Well, I'm going to program Nessudoraibu some."

"Okay!"

I had set my startup sound to an ambient version of the Windows 95 startup sound for...nostalgia.

I made a bit of room on my desk.

I dug around in the closet, when I found it.

My old Windows 95 desktop.

"You're such a nerd." Lucas said.

I dusted the box off and began arranging the wires.

"That looks like my grandma's computer." he giggled.

"I guess."  
When the startup sound blared,

"I've heard a vaporwave song or two with that sound. 'Thought the Windows 95 in the title was just for aesthetics."

"Hmm."

"I should eat something soon." he groaned.

"Then go feed your skeleton-esque body and leave me alone."  
"Why are you such a grump today, Nessie?" he said in a seductive tone, kissing the back of my neck slightly.

"You're getting clingy. Please respect my boundaries. I'll snuggle later."  
"Fine..." he moaned.

"I thought the startup sound sounded like "der ner ner ner ner!""  
"...That's Windows XP."  
"Same thing."  
"2001, 1995."

"I'm going to the "hipster haven" (by the way, that's what lucas calls starbucks.) to get something. You want anything?"  
"Get me a coffee and a cake pop."  
"You are so innocent." he muttered.

"I'm not innocent!"

"Yes you are. Like a little bear cub..."  
"I can prove my not innocence!"  
"Try."  
"Um, when a woman, and a man, or two guys....or two girls, whatever.....love eachother, very much, they take their pants o-"  
"I already had this talk when I was, like, seven. You had it too."  
"I-I'm not innocent."  
"Yes you are! Look at your little Windows 95 knitted sweater, your beautiful glasses, your hair clip-! You're so short...esque to that of a chibi. Your voice is so high pitched...you sound like Kanna Kamui from  _Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid!"_  
  
"Lucas..."

"See you in a couple minutes, Neess!"

A couple minutes in Lucas's time meant "a couple hours."

I got these for my birthday.

...cat ears.

I like to pretend to be a cat.

~~when you're so devoid of ideas you make a fanfiction about if ness was an innocent smol bean wearing cat ears~~

I don't know.

"N-Nya!" I squealed, bundling myself up like a burrito in my Windows 95 blanket.

I squealed.

D-Don't call me a little girl.

....you'd do it too if you were presented with cute cat ears and you had a childish personality.

I began jumping on the bed.

I began dancing to the song from the  _Persona 5_ soundtrack  _Life Will Change._

I ran around the room, squealing in happiness.  
I heard the lock jiggle.

Lucas caught me in my burrito.

"Aww..."

"L-Lucas...?"  
"Nessie, what is that?"  
"N-Nothing..."  
"Are those cat ears?"  
"Yes..."  
He gasped.

"You're a kitten, Ness!"

"A kitten...?"  
"Yes! You're a cute little kitten!"  
"U-Uh..."  
He jumped into the bed.

He picked me up, rolled over, and enclosed me in a hug.

I buried my face in his neck, because why not?

Lucas got a gleam in his already crafty eyes and grabbed a laser pointer.

"No." I said.

He was pointing it in different places.

My sensory awareness is crap, and I'm not sure I don't have SPD. (look it up.)

I chased the laser.

...

....

...

...I'm sorry.

"You're so cute, Nessie."  
He rubbed my stomach.

I giggled.

"N-Nya?"  
"You're so cute."

"G-Good night, Lucas."

"Good night."


	10. short bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You ever rode the short bus?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember The Tsumetai Chronicles?  
> We're bringing back Bishoujo.

The bus stopped at my apartment.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw that my bus was shorter than Lucas's.

I gazed upon the "handicapped" sticker on the bus.

I wanted to be normal, not be babied in special ed classes and riding the short bus.

Last year, my teachers offered normal stuff.

I gave up.

Tears dropped on the bus floor as I looked at my reflection.

Arata was right.

I am a retard.

For some reason, I can't help it.

I wish I could take some miracle pill and it would all go away.

My OCD.

My autism.

My anxiety.

Poof.

All gone.

I could go with Lucas's friends without being humiliated.

An asinine thought popped in my head.

"Is Lucas embarrassed by me...?" I whispered.

I knew this question was absolute BS, but it was always in the back of my mind.

Lucas calls me a good boy.

My peers call me...

..the next Christian Weston Chandler.

The scary thing is, I relate to him.

No, I don't draw pictures of myself you-know-whatting Lucas.

But, the way he acts sometimes,

I've found those behaviors in myself.

I occasionally go on Kiwi Farms, CWCki, and his Facebook and YouTube channel to gawk at him.

But, deep inside, I felt pity.

I arrived at school.

My friends weren't here today.

It was a nightmare.

....Arata was there.

Have you ever been slammed against the corner and kicked?

Yeah.

Gym class was nearing.

I hate gym.

We were doing the pacer test.

"Alright, Kusakabe, you're out!"  
I sat on the bleachers, my white T-shirt sticking to my chest.

I went on my phone, looking at different b, like the flowers that wilt in the winter.

Maybe everything was like a flower.

It stays for a while, and wilts.

...My relationship with Lucas wouldn't be an exception.

What if our relationship just...wilted?

Like the cherry blossoms in the winter.

Is he embarrassed by me?

Does he cringe every time I flap my arms or make a noise when I'm hungry?

Probably. Maybe my mom just made him be my friend but really he talks bad about me behind my back.

 

Gym was next to last period.

I limped through gym.

I couldn't walk that well, because, I'm physically....retarded? Is that a thing?

I fell down from the bleachers, bruising me all over.

I tried to get up, but I couldn't.

"Kusakabe, you okay?" my gym teacher asked.

"I-I, n-ngh, I can't get u-up.."

 He picked me up, and the nurse. put me in a...wheelchair.

 I haven't been in one of these bad boys since...a week ago.

Since gym was over, I rammed the joystick to math.

"Hello, Nessu, how are you?" a lady said, very slowly and loud, like he thought I couldn't hear.

I know I'm classified as, well, autistic, but c'mon.

"Yes?" I put on a face I call my "retarded face." White, blank looks.

"Okay, I want you to come with me, sweetie." This lady's creeping me out.

This lady pulled out three items.

A cherry, an apple, and a banana. 

"Which one is not like the others?"

"Banana."

"Okay, sort these from smallest to largest."

I couldn't reach it with my tiny arms, so I just sat there.

She asked me more questions.

She walked up to my math teacher.

"I believe your student Nessu is uncapable of learning and astoundingly retarded."

"That's what I thought, kid got an 95 on the quiz last year."

I was about to have an explosion of anger.

This is what I call my "hurricanes."

Tears welled up in my eyes.

How could they think just because I had a wheelchair, I was mentally retarded?

I also hate that word.  _Retarded._

I've had that word been thrown at me many times in the past.

_"Hey, Akira, look at that kid. Look at his wheelchair. The Dragon Ball Z decals? Retard."_

_"What a nerd!"_

I was far from mentally retarded.

In special ed, God above, Jesus above, I miss it,

we had three stations.

Basically, retarded, kinda retarded, not very retarded. I was in "not very retarded" Of course it was called "high-functioning," but still, etc.

Can't you just say "mild?"

I screeched in my chair, and begin kicking my legs and flapping.

Oh no.

I was..

having a..

m 

e

l

t

d

o

w

n

.

I began sobbing.

I began whining.

I began banging on my table.

None of the kids laughed.

They were concerned.

"Oh, what's wrong, Nessie-boy?" she cooed, trying to ease me.

I was too busy sniffling and worrying about becoming the crybaby-again, when she held me still.

She was touching me.

The only person who can touch me is people I know.

She was yelling at me to stop.

It was sensory overload.

Black clouds built up in my eyes.

She was holding me tighter.

When...

I lightly kicked her in the stomach.

She backed off.

"Ness!"

"If you think there is any way in heck I would let you treat me like I'm retarded, you better think twice!" I shouted.

Heck.

 

...My math teacher is mean, but this one only came to the class sometimes.

Heck yeah.

I rolled near the place where Lucas said he would come get me after school.

I sat down on the bench for about thirty minutes when I heard a voice say,

"I'll carry you home, Nessie."

Lucas was smiling, kneeling down, about to pick me up.

I got into his arms.

"You got any homework, Nessie?"

"They don't give special ed kids homework here. They give twice the work, though."  
"Oh, I don't have any because it's the first day of school."  
We came in through the door, and Claus had a stern look on his face.

"Ness. why did you call your teacher an idiot?"  
"Nothing..." I whispered, as Lucas carried me up the steps.

"Nessie, cuddle time."  
"Yay!" I screeched, getting into my pile of plushies.

He dove into the fluffy bed, scooping me up, rolling over, and spooning me, but we were facing each other.

I squealed, and buried my face in his neck.

He giggled, and ran his fingers through my hair.

He tickled me a bit.

I tickled back, hitting his weak spot-his stomach.

"S-Stop!" he said, laughing into oblivion.

I clinged onto him.

He kissed me softly on my forehead.

"Wanna play chess?"  
"Sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to read books.  
> I got some of the ideas from the chapter from books.


	11. skybound

Sometimes, the lords above hit the mute button on me. Haha, get it, CWC?

But it was true.

Sometimes I couldn't talk.

It's because of the trauma of everything horrific having happened to me the last few months.

Lucas almost dying, Arata, the short bus drama, everything.

It's affected me. You would think that it was because of my mental disorders. Okay, partially. 

I woke up, trying to speak.

Nothing happened.

I tried to move to signal Lucas to get my pills.

I couldn't move.

I began breathing heavily.

Lucas woke up, his icy blue eyes growing in concern.

"Ness!"  
I jumped out of my sleep paralysis.

"Oh...hey, Lucas."  
"What's wrong?! It's 4am!"  
"Oh...sorry."

"I was worried about you, Ness."

"Hmm."  
"Night terrors?"  
"Mhm."

"Wanna just stay up? It's late."  
"Mhm."

"So, what do you want to do tomorrow?"

"Nothing."

"What's wrong?"  
I was looking out the window.

I looked back at my wheelchair.

I would never be more than some retard with high hopes.

I'll forever be earthbound. 

Giygas and Porky were nothing more than obstacles to stoke my ego.

This period in my life will be nothing more than something that happened after "TEH GRATE WRA OF GAYGUS!11!!"

I'll be forever known as the kid who's not allowed to cry.

Nobody asks how the hero feels.

No.

Boys aren't supposed to cry.

Much less heroes.

"Oh, silly boy, you'll be a hero, not a programmer."

"Aww. You can't go on Notepad++."

Bring it to an end.

Everyone praises me for my feats, not my skills.

I began shedding tears, falling onto the carpet like raindrop.

Who I am is not enough.

I have to be better.

I remember my mother tried to get me to stop stimming.

"Nessu. Stop flapping."  
"Mother!"  
"Stop. Stop pulling your hair."

I began sobbing.

Tears hugged the sheets.

"Ness."  
"Lucas?"  
"Where do you want to go today?"  
"B-Be what's next?"  
We recited old slogans all the time. To cheer me up.

"Want me to read you a story?" he asked sweetly.

He knows my mom used to read me stories.

Mom then came to the conclusion I was too old for bedtime stories.  
She was wrong.

I loved her stories. Her voice brought the characters to life.

Me, resting on her chest, while she read The Three Little Pigs or the Shining Princess, or maybe traditional Japanese folktales when I was six.

I graciously accepted.

Lucas got me on his lap, while I rest my head on his chest. 

He read old Korean stories, and sang old songs in Korean.

I knew it was childish.

But yet, I didn't care.

Lucas and I, lying together, telling bedtime stories to eachother.

It was heaven on Earth.

 


	12. The Disappearance of Nessu Kusakabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After I'm born I finally realize  
> I exist to type ones and zeroes  
> NESS, fated to type forever  
> A programmed shut-in accepts it just fine  
> Gnawing on a steak, looking up at the sky  
> Shedding tears, noticing that even JavaScript is fading  
> Even Nessudoraibu updates depend on personality  
> And unsteady source code as foundation  
> The place I came from already destroyed  
> When everyone forgets me,  
> I see the inevitable result  
> Of and endign world for a psychic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude im so sorry ive been so lazy i havent done a new nesstech

"Ness, did I ever tell you you try too hard to have a low voice?"  
"N-No."

"You used your tryhard voice in Smiles and Tears, right? When you said 'I miss you.'"

"N-No!"

"Use your real one then."

"I don't like my voice."

"It's cute in its own way."  
"I sound like an anime girl."  
"Use your natural voice."

"O-Okey!"

"Aww. So cute."  
I was only feigning happiness.

Something else besides my voice was on my mind.

My cringe-inducing younger years.

I sort of miss the couple months of my journey.

It was hard without my beloved Elementary OS to keep me company, but I managed.

Also, shouldn't the Runaway Five be called the Runaway Six?

Also, in Threed, I got kidnapped by a lady in a bikini and possibly wounded severely.

Kenji Kusakabe mom of the year.

Whoever named my mom a boyish name grandmother of the year.

So, I've been told in the Niconico Douga comments section of my Japanese NessTech videos that I have to embrace the fact I'm Ness from Earthbound.

Okey.

Fuzzy pickles.

Fart.

Poop.

What else...?

Eggs.

This is hard.   
Sorry, I'm back to being NessTech.

Sorry, folks.

 Okay, so, I wanted to embrace the fact I was still a child.

How did I do that?  
By building a pillow fort.

It had an old mattress inside, with tons of fluffy pillows and blankets.

I get this thing every month where they send me cute Japanese stuff.

There's a lot of plushies, so I decorated a bit and put Christmas lights in.

Speaking of Christmas, it's almost Christmas.

I want a bunch of plushies.

Also the Hatsune Miku Gatebox. 

Kawaii desu ne!  
Oh wait, I'm not on niconico. I'm on AO3.

So, I'm up at 3 o' clock in the morning. My body can't produce melatonin correctly, and Lucas snores.

I have to take melationin gummies for the circles under my eyes to not grow pitch black.

They're already pitch black, but they would...darker than black, without the melatonin.

It looked great.

It was soft.

Now you may be asking, "how can a cripple build a pillow fort all by himself?"  
Hands and knees exist, thank you.

Also, I don't need the wheelchair at home. I can sorta kinda walk. I only need it when I'm traveling long distances.

Lucas is a really heavy sleeper, so he doesn't notice a fourteen year old short kid blasting piano music and anime openings and building a fort.

I decided to name the fort...

Fort Python.  
Its slogan is "GNU/Linux, not Linux."  
I decided to put some posters up. 

This will be the place where I teach my young apprentice how to computer.

First I will teach him Windows, then Linux. Oh, sorry. GNU/Linux.

He's an Apple Sheep™.

He'll buy an Apple toaster.

He'll buy an Apple brownie.

Anything Apple.

He thinks changing the wallpaper is top-notch customization.

Really, Fedora Workstation for the win.

Ubuntu is decent too.

If Microsoft made Windows 10 better instead of working on the already dead Microsoft Edge I'd like them more.

So, I'm just laying down. Doing nothing.

I've been wanting a bit of Ness time for a bit, so I'm happy.

Coding the newest thing I made.

I actually copyrighted Nessudoraibu. Neat.

The Nessudoraibu Project. Yay.

I'm working on a VPN (proxy,) an anonymous browser, a Chrome, Firefox, and...Edge browser extension, and a Discord anti phishing/malware/NSFW bot.

A lot.

I got the Discord bot done.   
I got out my notes on Google Docs and scratched that off the bucket list.

The pocky stick acting like a cigarette in a tough guy's mouth, my Spotify playlist blasting, pillows and blankets propped up from behind me, I began to work on the proxy.

I'd already had one server's motherboard blow, I don't need the VPN's blowing. 

You're surprised I have a room of servers?  


.

It's super organized.

...well, sort of.

I had gotten everything done.

It was now six o'clock.

I wanted Lucas.

I went to where Lucas was sleeping.

I chucked him in the fort.

"Ness..."

"Lucas..."  
He chucked a pillow at me.

"Oh, come on!"

"You're tiring."  
"Apple Sheeps are tiring."

"Nice."  
"Nicer."  
"Nicerest."  
"Nicerester."

"Oh."  
"Oh."

We just looked at eachother and then went to sleep.

 

 

 


	13. Room 101

_Click._

_Click._

The sound of my mechanical pencil's clicking filled the room.

My legs swinging back and forth.

I was in Room 101.

AKA the Special Ed room.

AKA the idiot room.  
I fiddle with the nasal strip on my nose and my many wristbands, not paying attention.

The grades I get in 101 aren't legit. The ones I get in inclusionary are.

My glasses falling on my nose, falling asleep slowly.

Short and sweet-it's boring.

I wanna go home and sleep in Fort Python.

We watched Tom and Jerry for three hours. Can you  _believe_ that?!

I wanted to go to the  _normal_ classes.

The classes where you did stuff besides watching a bird shooting Tom.

 Oh, I wish it was a bird shooting Tom.

It wasn't the good Tom and Jerry episodes.

The...oh no!

  
The non-violent ones!

A curse upon the classic.

The foul hex upon television screens, begging to be identified as Microsoft Paint animated.

The ones memers could say is the best anime ever.

This made me want to break Carl's fidget spinner.

Oh, how throwing it on the floor would be satisfying.

Watching the bearing balls pop out, one by one- spreading across the room, while the high pitched melody of Carl's screeching filled the confined room.

Which, is exactly what I did.   
I tried to tune out the outside hex and try some meditation, but that failed.

I began to laugh.  
The teacher smiled, because she thought I was laughing at the curse.

My eyes scanned the room at that of an antivirus, looking for something to throw or break.

I swiped my hands off my desk, and so did Carl's precious fidget toy off his table.

 

"nnnnEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" his voice screeched, pounding at my poor eardrums.

Instead of curling up into a little ball in the corner of the room like I usually did, I picked up the pieces.

I put them back together-to get my hands dirty with engineering for my next robotics class, I guess. Wait, I'm a programmer.

"Carl. Here you go." I stuttered quietly.  
I gave him a finished product.

"Ness good boy again." he said joyfully.

Back to the waiting game.

I began humming the Jeopardy waiting song.

"Dun dun dun d-"  
Splat!

Someone had sneaked fruit juice into school in a water bottle...and spilled it all over my white shirt.

I was all sticky and gross.

I don't like sticky and gross.

Lucas always packs me a change of clothes, so I bolted to the bathroom.

I took a quick shower in the locker room, and went back to 101.

I only switched classes on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

"Phone time!" Mrs. Akiyama announced.

_lucas if you don't pick me up you're mom_

_That's  not funny._

 

_lololol_

_Ness._

_whta_

_So, what's up?_

_i drank too much coffee this morning and now my stomach hurts_

_Aww... Does Nessie need snuggles?_

_yes_

_I bet Nessie needs some hugs and kisses to calm him down! I want to be the one to do that._

_Y E S_

_Does Nessie want me to pick him up?_

_ye_

_I'm on my way._

I had done it. 

Only a few more minutes of torture.

I plugged in my headphones and began to play Love Live.

_Make sure not to miss..._

I hit a barrage of notes.

_A single note or you will.._

I tilted my head to the song.

_fail the whole combo..._

I was careful not to fail the combo.

_Now here's the ending of the song..._

I stopped typing.

_Psyche, just kidding._

I play osu! and Love Live School Idol Project stumps me.

"Teacher, I believe I'm being picked up early. Goodbye."  
"Bye, Nessu. See you tomorrow."

"Hey, Ness."

Lucas was giving me a death stare.

"Y-Yeah?"  
"Why is there 200 dollars charged to my credit card on osu! merchandise?"  
"Uhhh..."

"Nevermind."

"I bought the drive because I wanna play osu! during phone time."  
"Don't you already?"  
"That's Love Live."

"Same difference."  
"Can I borrow your laptop?"  
"You already have tons."

"There's a program I want but it's Mac-only."

 "Do your nerd tech stuff then."

"Be like that. But don't come asking me to fix it when you get ransomware from Crunchyroll.."

"Huh?"  
"Nevermind."


	14. Shut-in Hangout

I don't go outside.

I know, I'm scum for not breathing in pollen filled weeds and prancing in fields of daisies.

The real reason is that I hate being stared at.

Before you say I won't be stared at, a crippled kid who can barely walk, drooling, and making weird noises is pretty easy staring material.

I prefer to go out without a wheelchair.

It hurts my legs, but if it lessens staring I'll do it..

Lucas forces me to cripple to my chair.

Pitiful eyes of young adults and teenage girls.

The giggling of teenage boys.

The haunting look of children and toddlers whispering "Mommy, will I be like him when I'm older?" and the mother shushing them.

It drives me nuts.

Therefore, I'm always inside.

Sitting on the brown carpeted floor upstairs in a room full of technology.

Servers.

Baby toys I make swear.

Computers.

My main computer, which is Windows + Linux.

A 4k 60fps curved TV, sitting on a table which has a door where I can put video games.

Every (major) gaming console- Japanese and Western, pretty much.

All the Mother games on display.

Rubix cubes.

Everything.

This room was as nerdy as you could get, to be honest. 

And the biggest loser on Earth sitting on the floor.

Wearing blue striped pajama pants and yawning.

Donning a faded gray shirt that read, "I dream in CSS."

With black hair, probably the most taken care of part of this loser's body.

Green eyes that looked almost purple if looked at closely.

A bandage not for an injury, but for a misfortunate birthmark on the side of my face, near my left cheek.

Eyes with pitch black circles caused by light from screens.

My Neighbor Totoro slippers.

I was a mess, I was aware of that.

Sipping black coffee, while playing Breath of the Wild was my kind of day.

What about Lucas?  
I was alone most of the time.

He sometimes came in my room to snuggle and we did play games a lot.

But we didn't cling onto each other 24/7.

I like that.

I'm as nerdy as you can get, honestly.

Black glasses with white in the middle, braces, forehead riddled with acne (but thankfully covered up,) and I watch Lucky Star and Nichijou.

I play the cello.

It's really heavy.

Violas are a little too small. Violins sound weird.

I was curled up under a blanket, eating a piece of lemon meringue pie.

 _Hey Tsukasa, which end of a chocolate cornet do you eat first?_ an adorable blue haired girl named Konata on Lucky Star said.

_I think you start at the head!_

"I eat the thin end," I muttered.

I played Project Diva a bit.

Senbonzakura is my favorite.

I watched some Kizuna Ai.

"Hai domo, virtual YouTuber Kizuna Ai desu!" I said while Kizuna said it too.

"The new Google phone looks nice." I muttered.

"Senbonzakura yoru ni magire!" I screamed.

I did the dance, almost perfectly. 

I then drifted to sleep, as Senbonzakura ended.

 


	15. Bwep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good bwep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what a bwep is either.

 

"How's my axolotl doing?" Lucas asked.  
"He's being a good boy."

Lucas had many pet names.

Good boy.  
Axolotl.

Fishy.

Bwep.

Too many.

I love them.  
"Bwep bwep!" I screeched.  
"Aww! The good bwep is very good and happy!"

Don't fool yourself.

Behind all the angsty Tumblr posts, he was Lucas.

"Nessie is cold."

He pulled me close and began caressing my face.

"Cold Nessies are not allowed."

"That is correct."

My voice is weird.

I pronounce my L's like W's.

So, "Hello friends!" would come out as "Hewwo fwends!"

People thought I was cute.

Anyway, Lucas was petting my face.

"Neeeeeeeessie."

"Luuuuuuukey."

 "Wanna go decorate the Christmas tree?" he asked.

"Mhm!"

I put a big red one next to a small red one.

"Lukey! Loook! It's a famiiiiily!"

"...That looks weird. It should go here,' he moved it.  
I could feel it.

A meltdown was coming.

I tried to prevent it.

My shoulders tensed. My breathing was hastened. My heartbeat raced.

I screamed.

I moved them back together.

I whined- I screamed, it was all a big mess.

"Ness! Why'd you move it back?!"  
"Family."

"Huh?"  
"It's a mommy and a good boy."

I acted childish like this often.

"Hmm...I guess it's pretty cute. Like you."

"Yaaaay!"

"Neeeeesie. Neeesie's a good boy."

"You know I love you, Lucas!"  
"I love you too. I wonder what I'm getting you this year."  
"Get me anime stuff!"  
"We'll see."

I went back to the shut-in hangout.

I sat at my laptop, ready to get that sweet Reddit karma.

I will not discuss my karma methods.   
  
My secret method shall not be open to the public.

If I told you, no karma for me.

I don't want that.  
No Tumblr reblogs.

No YouTube subscribers.

Reddit Karma.

Possibly Reddit gold.

Or Reddit Silver.

I was getting ecstatic, just thinking about all of that karma...

So much, I forgot to sleep.

Twas an eventful night.

Bitcoin mining, (to get rich, why else??), being greedy on Reddit, watching anime, and feeding my snakes.

Did I ever tell you I have snakes?

Mhm. His name is Anko, and the other one is Axel.

I'm so creative.

See you next time on Ness's Sad and Pathetic Life #82822920220202202.


	16. Because I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t lived even half as long as adults have,  
> but I do have plenty of memories in my backpack  
> My favorite baseball cap, my sneakers with worn-out heels  
> Deep in my pocket is my worn-down guitar pick  
> There were some things sad enough to make tears come out,  
> but you were always by my side  
> I thought of the two of us as just friends the whole time  
> I probably loved you without ever realizing it
> 
> We walked while we laughed, played, and got hurt  
> I realized it as we took shortcuts and went in circles:  
> that even if you can’t believe in everyone  
> you can’t cast aside a heart you do believe in  
> You made me stronger just being who you are  
> Like a gentle wind blowing and swaying the grass  
> you always walked with a smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fwend of mine helped me write some parts of this.  
> Thanks, Lucas.

I was walking to class.

I saw a streak of red hair, freckles, and no soul.

Haha, get it? Gingers have no souls?!

Arata was trying to play some dumb trick on me.

I walked by, wearing a....yellow and blue shirt.

My hair was exceptionally messy this morning, and I didn't feel like brushing it, so as a last resort I donned my classic baseball cap.

I get hot easily, so I wore my denim blue shorts.

Because my other shoes were all dirty, I wore my red ones.

I had no other socks- so I wore my long ones. I looked like a huge  _geek._

I wear the same brown nerdy backpack every day.

I hadn't realized I was wearing the classic old school Earthbound outfit until this very moment.

WHOA, DID I REALLY LOOK THIS DWEEBY?

Nessu Michio Kusakabe. The main character of MOTHER 2, localized in the west as Earthbound. The kid who saved the earth from Giygas and Pokey. The one who added on to what Ninten started, and what Lucas finished. Otherwise known as, the king of nerds. Protector of geeks. Avenger of dweebs. Guardian of hikikomori. Champion of otakus. Angel of weeaboos,  _Watchdog of shut-ins._

This fourteen-year-old boy has never realized how geeky he looked in his blunder years.

I decided to grin and bear it.

When, a rude awakening passed me.

 ~~ ~~ _**a r a t a,** _

I was on my phone, playing Run 3.

My school blocked Coolmath.

Level X 4.   
I can do this.

With the beautiful soundtrack and geeky figure, I would win this level.

When suddenly.... 

Something cold washed over me.

Ice water.

Someone had poured a bucket filled with ice water on me.

It doesn't take Sherlock to figure out who did this.

My outfit was soaked. My hair all in my face, dripping onto my phone.

Soaked bangs, covering my eyes whole, as if I was souless and I had no eyes.

Arataaaaa!

I looked up, frowning.

I shivered, the ice inside my shirt.

I'm  _extremely_ sensitive to extreme temperatures.

Can't be burning hot, can't be freezing cold.

This....was torture.

Now, Arata, being my (former) bestest friend in the whole world and universe, knew this.

Arata smiled.

"Hey, retard. You miss me? I sure didn't miss you, especially not with all that water. Why don't you go back to your _special_ classroom and save us the trouble, four-eyes? Or do you think you're too smart for that?"

I frowned more.

What person unironically uses the term "four eyes?"

Also, the comment about the special ed room made me mad.

"S-Stop doing this to me!" I stuttered.

He smiled even more cynically. 

"Aw, but it's so much fun. I love seeing you have temper tantrums and meltdowns from the tiniest things."

The meltdown was approaching.

My mouth twitched to cover up the screech that my vocal cords were about to emit. 

I couldn't help it.

I screeched.

"See? All it was was water. Such a shame that your meltdown can't warm you up, nerd."

I moaned in pain, from the cold water giving me a fever, and Arata's brutal words.

I started vigorously shaking the other boy.

It's a stim I use when I'm having a meltdown. 

"QUIT IT!" I yelled.

"Get your diseased hands off of me! I don't want to catch your autism!" Arata shrieked.

I screamed. I didn't even  _try_ to help it. 

I began sobbing.

"STOP DOING THIS TO ME!"

"You should stop playing the victim card, weirdo. I'm just going through my day, and I just so happened to trip and spill all this here water on you. It wasn't my fault, it was only an accident. Jeez. You're acting like you didn't have any of this coming to you!"

That was a load of crap and we both knew it.

"I-I _sniff_ think it was on purpose...."

"You're just special and think everything revolves around you. News flash! You aren't. Silly, ungrateful boy."

Whenever I have a meltdown or tantrum, my voice gets weirder- It sounds like a speech impediment. 

This quirk came into play.

"I'M SORRY!"

"You should be! Accusing me of hurting an autist that can barely function properly? Oh, I would _never!_ Just the thought of it is astounding!"

I began getting angry.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

"Oh, says the kid who can't keep his mouth shut for three seconds without screeching. How utterly HYPOCRITICAL."

I curled up into a ball and sobbed into my knees.

"I...I...I-I..." I stuttered.

"I! I! I! I! Weehhh! I'm Ness! I'm so disabled, yet I think I'm not! Weh! I'm retarded enough to be gay! Weeeeh," Arata mocked.

"I'm n-not retarded!"

"Your government files say otherwise."

"What do they say?!"

"Oh, things... Unimportant things... Like, you're never going to function like a normal human being... Just boring things like that."

"You haven't seen my papers!"

"YoU hAvEn'T sEeN mY pApErS eVeN tHoUgH tHeY'rE aVaiLaBLe OnLiNe!"

I dug into my backpack.

I dug out some papers.

These were my government files.

My mother tells me to bring my records everywhere with me. I do.

I cleared my throat.

Nessu Michio Nerdkabe's got some schooling to do.

" _Nessu Michio Kusakabe will be able to lead a semi-normal life with a few difficulties._ " I quoted, reading from the doctor's comment.

"They're doing that to spare your feelings, silly boy."

"No they're not!"

"Why would you expect them to flat-out say 'he's good-for-nothing'? They won't just tell it to you through plain English!"

I started to become desperate.

I yelled out my feelings in a pathetic attempt.

"M-M-Meanie!!"

"Yeah. Alright. I'll definitely take your word for it. Thanks."

"I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!

"That's your mistake. I never agreed to being the friend of someone like you."

"But you hung out with me!"

"Have I _once_ seemed happy being near you? The only time I've felt joy around you was when I was hurting you."

"You liked watching anime with me!"

"Just so you wouldn't flee from me. How else could I get so close to you to mess up your life so badly?"

"Why do you like hurting me?!"

"I-I...I hate you!"

"I! I! I-- I!! I! I! I! I haAaaAAaAAAAAaaaAAAaaate yOoOoooooOoOoOOOou!!" His newfound pastime was mocking me, it seemed.

I screamed.

"AAaaAAaAaAAAAaaaaAaAaaAaaaAAAAaaaa!"

I curled farther into a ball.

I reached into my backpack- I pulled out my black binder with a bunch of doodles of mine on it.

I used this binder as a shield.

I pulled out my headphones and phone. Anime shorts.

Arata kicked my binder.

"Weeaboo."  
How am I a weeaboo if I'm Japanese?

I cried even harder.

"P-Please stop!"

"Just because you asked me nicely... I guess... no."

I decided to run for the nurse's office.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Um, to the nurse..."

"No, I don't think you are." He switched to a petty voice. "It's not nice to lie..."

"Where do you _think_ I'm going?"

"To snitch."

"What does that mean?"

"You retard. It means you're gonna go _tell._ "

 

 

 

 

"No...? "I'm not gonna go tell." I said.

 

 

 

"So you wouldn't mind if I just followed you wherever you went?"

"Please stop following me. You're not my friend and I'm never talking to you ever again."

"You're talking to me right now."

I walked to the nurse.

"Hmf..."

"Does the weakling need a band-aid?"

"I'm going to go home..."

The nurse then decided to send me home. I was freezing, after all.

He inhaled.

He uses a very vulgar word in this sentence, and I have substituted a much less vulgar word for your eyes. It's another way to say "cat," by the way.

"You  _coward._ "

I walked out to the sidewalk.

"I hope everyone's having a good day. Except him," I muttered.

I walked home in the rain.

I knocked on the door.

"N-Ness?" Lucas asked, in a soft tone.  
  
"A-Arata poured ice water on me."

He lunged for a towel.

"Oh no! Poor baby!"

He wrapped the towel around me.

"You need to change."  
I went to go take a warm bath.

The bubbles and warmth was comforting.

My rubber ducky collection floated atop the bubbles.

I look over at Cheese and Quackers.

"I wish I could be like you, Cheese and Quackers. You're just a rubber duck with no worries."

I squeezed him.

"Wanna switch places, Quackers?"

Silence.

"Figures."

I sunk, the only thing not covered with bubbles my face.

I felt like I was good and clean enough.

I brushed my hair and put my clothes on.

My feet were like feet-shaped ice cubes, so I put on yellow socks.

I was wearing a purple shirt with Mr. Saturn on it.

I was also wearing black pants.

I went up the stairs to my nerd room.

Lucas was up there.

He was dusting my video game collection for me.

"Lucas?"  
"Oh! I'm cleaning your room for you."  
"No, No...no..no..."  
"What's wrong?"

"My collection isn't sorted correctly."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. Now, Project Diva Future Tone is rhythm, so that goes here. And Persona 5 is an RPG, which goes heeeere."

"Nerd."

"It's my occupation."

"Nerd."

"Hey, at least I don't by element salt shakers."

"Hey! Science is cool!"

"Lucas, you're a huge nerd."  
"W-Well, If I'm a nerd...you're a...geek? No, uh, dork?"

"You don't know The Ranks of Dweeb."

"Hmf."

"Neeessie. Cuddle with meee."

"Okey."

I jumped into the fluffy bed.

"You're like an ice cube. A cute one."  
"Kweh!"

I rolled up into a burrito.

"Aww! Burrito Nessie is so cute!"

"Bwep."  
"Bwep!"

"Hey, Lukie!"

"Hmm?"  
"Y-You know why I try to stay up with you and spend as much time as possible with you?"

"Hmm? Why?"

"Because I love you."  
He was smiling and crying.

Smiles and tears.  
"T-That's part of b-bein' friends!"

"I-I believe in you!" I giggled.

"F-Fallin' love."  
"I-I PK Love you." I laughed.  
"Well, I PK Love  _Omega_ you."

"Well, so do I!"  
"Of course."

"You may say I'm a fool.."

"Now, don't expect me to get into a song lyric chain, now."  
"Meanie."

He sighed.

"You're awfully talkative for a sick person."  
"But I wanna talk."  
"Shut up and watch the anime in front of your face."

We spent that night watching anime forgetting it was almost Christmas.

Sometimes MOTHER series puns can hint at the most pure love ever.


	17. Records of Sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ness looks through his records.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor ness

I’ve never actually looked at my records much before.

 

I didn’t feel the need to.

But I really wanted to see what Arata was talking about.

 

Name: Nessu Michio Kusakabe

Date of Birth: May 19th, 2003

Place of Birth: Saitama, Japan

Mother: Kenji Kusakabe

Father: Tae Kusakabe

Basically trivial stuff.

Mental Illnesses: High-functioning autism, OCD, anxiety, Savant Syndrome

Crap.

-cerebral palsy.

Curses, you got me!

Aaah. There we go. 

I have cerebral palsy.

I never told you because I don't want to be a sympathy magnet.

It only affects my legs and my arms. My legs hurt when I move, and my arms are all spazzy.

Computers and piano are no match for Mr. Fast Fingers Kusakabe.

My wheelchair is surprisingly great.

It's so comfy. I have a basket of mentos I give people. I love giving people mentos.

I cover it with stickers. 

It's so cool. I love it.

I wanted to tell Lucas. He didn't know.

I didn't want him to think all I wanted was attention.

“Lucas, may I tell you something?”

“Hmm? Tell me everything on your mind.”

“I-I have…”

“Spit it out!”

I got really close to his ear and whispered,

_ “I have cerebral palsy. _ ”

“That's not funny.”

He gave me a dirty look.

“I'm being serious!”

His face softened.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“W-Why didn't you tell me this back when we first started being friends?”

“I..didn't want you to think badly of me.”

“You know I'd never think that.  _ Ever. _ ”

The word “ever” echoed in my mind. 

“I-I’m sorry!” 

I started crying.

“Cry. Cry with me.”

I started crying near him.

“I'd never give up on you. Even if you had some rare horrible condition.”

I looked him softly in the eye, tears fogging up my glasses so my eyes weren't visible. I looked like Jeff.

“I do have a rare horrible condition.”

His tone looked confused.

“I...Whaa…”

He stopped stammering and hugged me.

“I’m so sorry for going on those bike rides and making you so worried.”

I was interrupted by a finger to my lips.

“Shhhh. Fix your glasses.”

I limped to the bed and cleaned my glasses. They were going to get all foggy again anyway, why should I care?

I clenched my hands into fists and stared up at the ceiling. 

I eyed the essential oil diffuser on the nightstand.

I wish I could be one of those wisps.

Gone in an instant.

I grabbed a duck stuffed animal from my closet. 

I wiggled into bed and watch my tears soak into the soft fabric of the duck.

I saw Lucas in the doorway.

He set my pajamas down and went in the other room for me to change.

I changed into the soft pajamas.

They were plaid black and purple pants with a black shirt with a dumb Russia joke on it in white Arial bold italic text.

When I was done, Lucas climbed on the bed.

“Beep,” I said.

“Boop.” He booped my nose.

“Kweh.”

I laid my head on his chest, wondering when my next boop will be.

“Is Nessie comfy?”

“Very.”

“I like you when you're comfy.”

“I'm president or the robotics club now,” I said, to change the subject.

He clapped.

“I'm so proud of you!”

“I'm glad!”

“I'm tired. Are you too?”

“Nessie very tired.”

“Nessie go sleepy?”

“I can't keep my eyes open…”

“Me neither.”

He turned off the lamp.

“G’night, Nessie.”

“Good night, Twix.”

I wasn’t going to sleep.

After  all, I  _ am _ the legendary Nessu Kusakabe.

I got up after Lucas fell asleep. 

I plopped down on my PC.

I chose to boot on Windows 8.1 this time. Switching it up.

What? My torrent of Blend S is  _ still _ seeding?

Heck.

I got a scammer pop-up while looking for YIAY book torrents.

“Hard Drive Delete Message”

I grabbed my phone.

“Your call is very important to us.”

I scoffed.

“Please stay on the line.”

They started to play violin music.

“Smile, sweet, sister, sadi-”

“Hello, this is Bob from Microsoft tech support, how may I help you?”

I opened up my virtual machine.

“Hello, I have a problem with my computer.”

“What is it?”

“I have a message about the Russians getting into my hard drive.”

Beep. Beep.

The guy hung up.

What if the Russians  _ were _ getting in my hard drive?

The NSA is watching you, you know.

 

My glasses are getting dirty.

I cleaned them nicely and put them in their case.

I got out my second pair of glasses.

These were circular instead of rectangular.

  
  


I rolled over to my robots.

One of them shot something at me.

I jot something down on a clipboard. 

Like that guy who tested my intelligence when I was four.

Ha…

There was something in my hair.

I pulled it out.

How'd a full Gameboy get in my hair?

It's got Kirby in it and everything!

I put it on my shelf.

I collect retro games.

I posed my figures on my shelf.

“Saaay fuzzy pickles!” 

I snapped a picture.

I looked in the camera on my phone.

I saw a big nerd with black hair (the color of your soul,) and a retainer. Also, that science where autistics have baby faces really showed on me.

I realized I had my duck pajamas on. 

My torrent for Blend S had seeded!    
I spinned around in my office chair, I was so happy.

“Kyaaaaa!”

I was tired, and I realized my birthday wasn’t too far away.

I’m gonna be fifteen.

I stepped into Lucas’s room.

I jumped on the bed.

I wiggled into the covers, and I covered myself in blankies. 

Lucas was in the bathroom, so I have time to get comfy. 

I buried my face into a pillow and let myself relax, sinking into the memory foam.

I flapped my arms as I hugged my ducky plush. 

Lucas jumped on the bed and hugged the duck too.

I took off my glasses, wiggled my toes, and took a long nap.


	18. The One In Yellow And Red

 

  


I was walking home from school on a warm Friday afternoon, hoping Ness wouldn’t have another incident when I got home.

 

Despite my hopes, I saw a raven haired boy crying over apple juice on his black shirt with a terminal (>_) symbol and all over his anime figures when I opened the door.

 

“Wuhh….Lukie….apple ju-ice!”

Now I had to be mom.

He doesn’t take his shirt off when it’s wet, but if it was his pants, they would be off, wadded at his feet, faster than you could say “Room 101.”

I kneeled down at his side, putting my hand on his chest.

“Are you alright, Nessie?”  
“Nuh!”

I bit my lip.

“Maybe you need a new shirt. I’ll see if I can find one. In the meantime, sit tight.”

On my way to the laundry room, I heard moans of pain. Presumably from the apple juice.

All I could find was some fried noodles that Ness stashed in the laundry room and, out of pure chance, a shirt.  
It was one of my old pajama shirts, but it would do.

I walked back to the living room, Ness moaning in front of the fish tank, the two guinea pigs, Ness Jr. and Fuzzy, basically saying, “Hey, Lucas! What’s good, where’s my carrots?”

“Nessie, here you go!”

His big green eyes looked at me, and softly said,

“Thank you.”

He slowly put his shirt on, rose up, and hugged me.

Later, he had another incident.

I was in the living room, watching those “The Rise and Fall of ___”  business videos.  
“Lukie, wanna play a game?”

I took out my earbuds. “Hm?”

He set out two sodas on the coffee table.

“Can you help me?”  
“How can I offer you help in a matter pertaining to two carbonated beverages?”

“Arata spiked one of them at school. Can you help me find the spiked one?”

“Alright.”

He gave me one of the sodas.

“Try it.”

I took the cold glass bottle out of Ness’s hand.

I took a small sip.

Ness stayed silent while I processed the sip.

It didn’t taste like cola.

I spit the spiked drink out and started coughing.

“Lukie! I’m sorry! I didn’t know that was the spiked one!”

"I'm not blaming you or anything. I just want you to be more careful next time. Don't go around and offer people a drink laced with pesticide."

"I thought that was the unspiked one."

I didn’t say anything, I figured a chuckle would make Ness cheery once more.

Tears started forming and making his glasses wet.

He pried the glass from my fingers, presumably to throw it away.

I put my earbuds back on.

Before I pressed play, Ness brought the spiked drink to his lips.

I threw off my earbuds, sending them and my phone to oblivion on the coffee table, knocking the safe soda off.

Before I could regain my balance, Ness slammed the bottle on the table, completely empty, spiked cola dripping from his lips.

Almost tripping over nothing, I raced to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

I squeezed the bottle so hard as I raced back to the couch, it’s a wonder it didn’t leak.

I forced the bottle into Ness’s purple hands.

“Drink this now!”

In a screechy voice, almost not human, he yelled,

“I DESERVED IT!”

He looked at me, and my heart sank just looking at his face turn pale.

"No! I won't let you die! You don't deserve to die!"

I uncapped the water, and put it up to his lips.

He screamed.

"Drink it! Please! Do it for me! It'll make you feel better!"

“No!”

  


“Please!”

I tried shoving it in his mouth, as inhumane as it as it sounds.

He kicked me in the stomach, halting my revival.

“Myeh!”

"Ness!!! Stop trying to die! Please! I'm begging you!"

Ness moaned, and grabbed the nearest trash can, and vomited, some of it escaping the trash can.

I had an idea. I smacked his back repeatedly in hopes of him throwing up more.

Ness’s head slowly turned towards me, screeching.

"Aw, jeez, it isn't working!! Uh... where's my phone...?! I need to call an ambulance!!"

He grabbed my phone from the table and hugged it to his chest.

“Crap…” I

I grabbed his phone, even though I know nothing about Android phones.

As soon as my fingers grazed the surface of the phone, Ness fainted, all the color in his face draining.

My heart was in my throat when I saw Ness’s completely pale face, and purple arms.

I checked his pulse. He was breathing and alive.

Still, him simply being alive wasn’t going to cure the heartache.

I called 119, and simply saying the fact that Ness was poisoned made my stomach sink.

As soon as the ambulance arrived, I blacked out.

I slept for a good three hours until I woke up by a cold breeze.

I was sprawled out on the couch.

I sat up, wiggling my toes.

A sudden shock of “Ness is in the hospital.” overcame me, and I put on slippers, not caring I was in pajamas.

I grabbed (unspiked) cherry cola from the fridge to give to my Ness.

I grabbed two so we could toast.

_Assuming he was still alive._

I grabbed my jacket and my backpack and walked out the door.

I walked, looking at the ground, staring daggers at my two feet.

I looked at the ground, tears marking my trail on the sidewalk.

Soon enough, I saw the hospital building.

I opened the door slowly.

A wave of hand sanitizer smell came over me, essentially a doctor’s office environment.

I plopped down in one of the uncomfortable chairs, when a nurse said I was allowed to go visit Ness.

I took one step into the room, and I saw a Ness with a bunch of tubes and needles inside him.

“Look at the cute little sick boy,” I squealed.

I saw Ness open his eyes.

“Oh..I’m not dead? Such a shame.”

“You’re not dead. You’re alive and...unwell, but that’s not the point.”

“I got a kinder fate than I deserved.”

I put my hand on his cheek.

“You deserved a hospital, not death.”

“I guess so.”  
“I brought you a Cherry Coke.”  
“Oh, I hope it’s spiked with some illegal poison. Like cyanide. Or laundry pods.”  
“Ness!”

“Okay, okay.”

“Here you go.”  
“Put it on the nightstand.”

“Hey, Ness?”  
“Hmm?”

“I still love you.”  
“You shouldn’t.”

This hospital has cots for visitors, so they can spend the night with their sick family members or friends.

I sat down on the cot.

“You ever played Doki Doki Literature Club?”  
I said this to brighten the mood.

Ness giggled.

“That’s not a very good subject change, because I went for Sayori, and that meanie Monika had to mess with her code and ruin it!”

“Figures, that’s your luck.”

“It’s getting laaaate. I’m going to bed.”  
“The lady told me you probably don’t need all those tubes anymore. She’s coming in a bit.”  
“Ooh, goody!”

“I’m not allowed to be in the room, when it happens. It’ll probably hurt.”  
“Oh, baddy.”

“Just think of, I don’t know, me hugging you?”  
“Oh! I’ll twy that!”

I went to the bathroom to give Ness some time to think.

He was forcing smiles.

...

Hi, it’s Ness.  
He just went to the bathroom, so I can’t write much.

I’m going to write you a quick poem.

_Noises_

_By Nessu Michio-TmVzc3UgTWljaGlvIEt1c2FrYWJl-Kusakabe_

**The noises are tearing at me.**

**Their talons are poking at my skin.**

**The noises won’t stop.**

**Why won’t they stop?**

**Beeping and buzzing**

**At my very soul**

**U2F2ZSBtZS4=** **_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_ **

Whoa, Ness got on my phone and wrote a scary poem and a bunch of gibberish.

Must be some sort of _code._

After I got back from the bathroom and read the text you see above, I see Ness cocooned in the hospital bed’s blankets, rocking slightly.

“N-Ness, why did you write this?”

“I-It’s nothing...Just delete it. Just delete it. **Just delete it.** **_Just delete it. JUST DELETE IT!”_ **

“N-Ness!”

“I belong in a mental hospital.”

“N-No you don’t? J-Just p-please tell me what’s going o-”

“I CAN’T!”

“W-Why not?”

Ness rummaged into his backpack that I brought stuffed inside my own backpack.

He brought out a communication book he used when he couldn’t speak, and when he wanted to keep things silent and secretive.

“Your brother is mean to me.”

He tapped this out slowly.

My heart sank

How could Claus be mean to Ness…?

But I knew this wasn’t it.

I did believe him.

But it wasn’t all that was troubling him.

I could see it in his big green eyes.

I grabbed him by his shoulders.

“NESS!”

“I-I’ll tell you when we get home.”

“Promise?”  
“P-Promise.”

Ness held up his pinky and wiggled it.

I put my pinky up and wrapped it around his.

Ness giggled and started squeezing my pinky with his other hand.

“Hmf…”

“Hehe!”

I then took a nap.

Ness woke me up.

“Luukie! We can go now!”

I got up.

I picked up Ness and walked to the to the door of the hospital.

His backpack was slung over his shoulder and his hair was a big mess.

I walked for a while, and soon enough-home.

We plopped down on the couches, it’s a win-win because Claus isn’t home.

“So, what’s up, Ness?”  
“S-Sometimes….Claus calls me a burden that’s nothing but a waste of oxygen.”  
A sudden jolt washed over me.

“He actually said that, and you’re not putting words in his mouth? Is that right?”

“I’m not..”

He had tears forming in his eyes.  
“Ness. It’s ok.”  
“T-Thank you!”

Ness cried until he fell asleep, plopping on my lap.


	19. Rain Cloud

Rain Cloud

When one looks at the humble face of Nessu Michio Kusakabe, (me,) they see a small, 4’11 (haha I'm short, shut up, 6' people. i already used Freedom units instead of the intellectually and logically superior Metric system.) little boy that’s kind of chubby. They see him strapped to a wheelchair with baskets of candy in the back. He has a worn out blanket in his backpack that’s seen a lot of love. Big, green eyes. Ones that seem to be filled with curiosity, probably because they’re looking everywhere.  
His feet can’t stand still, and neither can his hands.  
Inside, though, is like a rotten apple.  
Beautiful, shiny, and red on the outside, but all gross and mushy on the inside.  
At least, that’s what Claus believes.  
I was doing my extra-credit work on a desk in the kitchen.  
I was writing a poem for English class.  
The Voice of Nessu  
From a young age, I was void of voice.  
Lacking a voice, nobody to speak for me.  
Voices inside my head, all jumbled together in my thoughts.  
People in hospital masks fixed me.  
A voice was finally the representation of my head.  
I thought this was pretty good. Not the best poem I’ve wrote.  
I kicked my feet.  
I put my arm around my stomach.  
I got kicked in it earlier.  
You may find it odd that I am doing schoolwork on a Thursday when I have no homework, but I need to keep my grades up.  
I’m not failing or anything, I just like hearing my mom shedding tears of joy after I say “I got all A’s!”  
I was almost done.  
I took a sip of vanilla cola.  
I wrote another poem for extra-extra credit.  
Stuffed Animals  
I surround myself with them.  
Protecting myself.  
My feelings are void- for all that matters is nothing but meaningless toys.  
The tears seep into the fabric.  
Humans are meaningless.  
It’s about someone that’s only solace is a stuffed toy.  
I put my pieces of paper in my folder, which is in my binder.  
I stuffed my binder in my backpack and hanged it on the rack.  
I took my shoes off.  
I went to the bathroom, brushed my hair, made sure my bangs were covering my horrible forehead acne, and put on comfy clothes.  
I crawled, without the legs, upstairs.  
Lucas was kind of half-asleep.  
I didn’t want to disturb him, so I crawled back downstairs.  
I went and grabbed a soda.  
Claus walked up behind me.  
“Ah. So I see the vegetable is stirring.”  
It took me a minute to realize “vegetable” was an insult.  
“Okey!”  
He grabbed a raw onion and ate it.  
I HATE ONIONS, by the way.  
“Do you get shorter as you grow older?”  
“I don’t know!”  
I smiled.  
“I bet there’s dust mites eating at your feet.”  
I sar down on the floor, no longer in crawling position.  
I played with my feet.  
“Now they’re friends!”  
“Yeah, be friends with the dust mites. Eventually you’ll be shorter than ‘em.”  
“Yaaay!”  
“Let’s just hope I don’t-  
He stomped his foot on the floor.  
-stomp on you.”  
I laughed until I felt something crushing me.  
Claus was actually stomping on me.

Crack!  
Something cracked.  
“CLAUS!!” Lucas was in tears, screaming.  
“Hey, I didn’t see him.”  
“Don’t play dumb with me!”  
“It’s not my fault he’s so short.”  
“Go back to eating your onions! Ness, are you okay?”  
“N-No, c-can’t breathe...chest hurts…”  
“What?! You’re lying, right?!”  
“No…”  
“C'mon. We're gonna go sit down on the couch for a while, okay? Is that good? Can you make it over there by crawling?""  
"H-Help me to t-the couch. I really hurt."  
"Okay, okay. I'll help you. C'mon.” He wrapped his arm around me for support and used his other arm to stabilize me. My legs weren't actually touching the ground. “M-My chest r-really hurts!"  
"W-Water will help..and so will an ice pack..."  
"Okay. I'll be right back. Hang in there."  
He went and got water and an ice pack.  
"C-Can we move to the b-bed? Only i-if you h-help me walk..."  
“Sure.”

He assisted me to the bed like he did the couch.  
I wrapped myself in plushies.  
“The stuffies help.”  
"I'm glad to see you're getting better."  
"But it still really hurts."  
“Do you need anything?”  
"Take a wild guess!"  
I giggled.  
"Snuggles."  
“Mhm! Cuddle with me!"  
"Man, you're such a little kid, ain't ya?"  
"Do you like my plushies?"  
"They're so childish. Like you."  
“My chest still hurts..."  
"Hugs?"  
I snuggled up to him.  
“Poooke!”  
I poked his stomach.  
“Oof!” He wrapped his arms around me.  
I poked more.  
“Pokies!”  
“My belly! It’s under attaaaack!”  
"Pokeeeee!!"  
"Ah! No! Rude!"  
"But it's squishy! "I wish I could be this squishy."  
"Oh, you're calling me tubby? Look at you." Poke.  
"Nuuu!!”  
This kind of made me happier, but of course.  
“Your retardation is contagious!”  
No tears came out.  
It hurt so much, but nothing was coming out!  
My hands and legs were seizing,  
How was it possible? A seizure was approaching, but crying was a foreign concept?  
“U-Uh…”  
Despite my sore arms, I quickly crawled to the bathroom. to the bathroom.  
I closed the door and locked it, and then made my way to the next of the toilet, out of sight.  
I was hyperventilating.  
Soon enough, I could hear bickering going on.  
And then a slap.  
“You're always so protective of that vegetable!”  
“He's not a vegetable!”  
“Yes he is! I'm trying to toughen that singular-digit IQ retard up!”  
“He's not a retard!”  
“And water isn't wet? He'll die at seventeen!”  
Lucas was silent.  
“He's just going to die anyways! What's the point? It's like making a schizophrenic sane. My bad, that's a terrible analogy, because you are trying to make a schizophrenic sane!”  
“Even if he was severely intellectually disabled-”  
Claus cut him off.  
“Which he is,”  
Lucas slapped him once more.  
“Even if he was, it's just going to make his life worse than it already is!”  
“That still doesn't warrant you slapping me across the face. He earned his beatdowns!”  
“You earned yours!”  
“I'm trying to toughen him up! He's useless!”  
“He isn't useless!”  
“Yes, he is. Tell me one way he isn't a living burden!”  
“He's nice!”  
“Anyone can be nice. Doesn't count.”  
“You apparently think niceness is a foreign concept!”  
I chuckled through the tears.  
“It's funny because Lucas is wrong!” I yelled out of adrenaline.  
The voices in my head were fighting.  
“Just PK Thunder him, Master Ness!” You can do it! Ness #281 said.  
“Don't listen to him, Master Ness!” Ness #6114 said.  
“Why wouldn't you listen to me? It's self defense!” 281 said.  
“Are you crazy?!”  
“No, but Master Ness probably is! If he wasn't crazy, he wouldn't have us hangin’ out in his head!”  
I reached in the medicine cabinet.  
I grabbed my meds and took one more pill than usual.  
That got the voices quiet.  
There are only two voices.  
I started crying.  
The little rain cloud won't go away.  
And then I went to school the next day.  
I was sitting in pre-algebra.  
The people sitting on the sides of me scooted away from me.  
They scooted away because I was drawing random things in the classroom.  
Whiteboards. Desks. Pencils.  
They were scared I was going to draw them.  
I was already finished with my work.  
“Man, shouldn't he be in a mental institution?”  
“Careful. Don't say that or he'll go full tard rage on you.”  
“He seemed so excited yesterday. What was that all about?”  
“He probably found his long lost extra chromosome.”  
“He probably draws Sonichu comics.”  
“I don't draw Sonichu comics!”  
That got them silent.  
“Oh..? So it looks like we're going to play America’s favorite game.”  
“What's America's favorite ga- Owwie~!”  
He kicked me.  
“None other than Kick the Autistic!”  
The bell rang.  
It took me a while to get my stuff in my hands.  
Then a girl walked up to me.  
She had long brown hair.  
She had blue eyes.  
She wore very mute colors.  
She was also very...pale.  
She wore glasses. They were white.  
“H-Hi, Ness. My name is Komachi.”  
I've heard of her before.  
People called her schizophrenic, psychotic, even murderous.  
“Hi..”  
“U-Uh... don't listen to them. They're probably /pol/ users.”  
“They said things about chromosomes..”  
“You don't have an extra chromosome. If you did, you would have Down syndrome.”  
“O-Oh yeah! I forgot about that..”  
“Do you remember me? I'm the girl who wrote a story about my voices in my head!”  
She got made fun of.  
“I remember you. I liked your story.”  
“2.0-chan is great!”  
I have no idea who 2.0-chan is.  
“I don't like it when people bully you, Ness.”  
“I don't like it when people bully you.”  
“Thank you.”  
Komachi ran out.  
And I jumped up and down.  
My first friend in two years.


	20. Ubuntu

I woke up from a nightmare about Shiba Inus going extinct.  
I hopped in my wheelchair from my bed, and got dressed in a plain navy blue shirt. The usual attire.  
The vice president of the anime club got kicked out of school for spraying disabled elementary schoolers with a water hose and yelling “Always wash your vegetables!”  
Thought you might find that interesting.  
I rolled down the ramp to the bus and got on the bus.  
I sat down next to someone.  
The person that I sat next to jerked.  
“Eww!”  
The girl was squirming in her seat and desperately pushing me away.  
My green eyes twitched in confusion. Why was I so disgusting?  
“Get away from me, you vegetable!”  
Tears widened my eyes. “W-what?”  
She pushed me out of my seat.  
“The only people who like you are those with wheelchair fetishes!”  
As I was trying to get my balance back, she shuddered and took bleach wipes out of her backpack and wiped down where I sat.  
I got back on my seat.  
“God’s quality control must be horrible, you special ed autist!”  
I'm not in special ed anymore. Some new law was passed in my city where you had to be intellectually or cognitively disabled (or, SEVERELY physically disabled) to have special education classes full time and if you were just physically or mentally disabled you just got special stuff like having the ability to be bring dogs to school and went to normal classes like everyone else.  
The bus stopped at the next bus stop to pick up more kids.  
I opened my bag.  
It wasn't zipped, and I carried it nicely in my arms.  
I pulled out my newfound pride and joy.  
A dog.  
A small adorable shiba inu.  
I smiled at it.  
“Ubuntu, here.”  
The girl had gotten off on her stop, and she left a bag of chips.  
“Want one?”  
“Arf!”  
I gave him a chip.  
“C'mon, Ubuntu.”  
The bus stopped at my school.  
I rolled to the front door.  
“Neeeeess! That's so adorable,” my therapist, Mrs. Pipimi said, from her room.  
“Hi, Mrs Pipimi!  
“Is there anything you would like to talk about today?”  
“Arata got his, um, suspension lifted, and I'm s-scared he'll.. hurt me.  
“He already got a stern talking to, Nessu. You know, all the stuff he did will stay on his public record.”  
“He doesn't care about some record, Mrs. Pipimi.”  
“You do know if he lays his hands on you, you can tell me. You're a great person, Ness.”  
“I’m stupid!” I put my head down.  
“You're not stupid.”  
“I get the easy work and they just call it hard to make me feel better about myself!”  
“Ness!”  
I threw my water bottle on the floor.  
“They're all right!”  
“Ness, stop!”  
I set my wheelchair on the fastest setting and rolled out of the room in tears.  
Math time.  
“Everyone, take a seat,” said the advanced math teacher.  
“Hi Ms. Popuko!”  
I gave her a hug.  
“Hello, Ness. You seem sad today. What's wrong?”  
“N-Nothing.”  
“I'll give you all a break today. Open your textbooks to page 348 and do the problems shown. There are not many problems.”  
The two people next to me were talking about girls and being obnoxious.  
“Dude, have you seen Komachi’s melons?”  
“Flat is beautiful!”  
“Why don't you sit in Ness’s seat, so you can't talk to him. Ness, sit in his old seat,” Ms. Popuko said passive-aggressively.  
I sat in his old seat, and he eyed my seat.  
He shivered.  
“U-Uhhh…”  
He twitched.  
“Ness doesn't have cooties, Joshua.”  
He shrieked and ran to the cabinet.  
Joshua wiped down the legs of the chair. Squeak.  
He wiped down the seat. He cringed as his thumb touched an unwiped part.  
He wiped the desk, inside and out.  
He then reluctantly sat in the chair.  
I won't describe my other periods to you. It's exactly the same every day.  
And then, free period.  
I rolled outside and sat under a tree.  
You know how my chair is electric?  
I did it myself because I don't like how motorized wheelchairs look.  
They look weird, like something in an American Walmart.  
It's basically just a normal wheelchair with joysticks. It uses batteries.  
Did you know I made several “adjustments” to my wheelchair?  
It can cook steak in a compartment on the left arm rest.  
Then, the last person I wanted to see today was right in front of me.  
Arata and his friend Yamada who looked really scary and big.  
The two people from Friday.  
“W-W-What can I do for you three today?”  
Instead of an answer, a particularly painful fist crashed into my face.  
“Shut up, chromosomes!”  
“W-W-W-Whaaat do you want?”  
“You know what I want?”  
“Y-Yeah?”  
“Watching you die slowly and painfully!”  
He grabbed hold of my wheelchair.  
He dumped me out of it.  
Yamada took hold of me, pinning me down to the ground.  
“What's this stupid little thing?”  
He picked up Ubuntu.  
“N-Noo!” I flailed.  
He threw my dog back on the ground.  
He began hitting the poor dog, and, I flailed again, kicking Yamada in the jaw.  
I grabbed Ubuntu and wiggled back in my chair.  
I quickly rolled to someone that seemed familiar.  
“Help!”  
They said “Where's your mama, little boy?”  
“She's in North America! Now help, I'm being bullied!”  
“No, no, where's your mama?”  
“You're in my advanced algebra math class!” I was in the hardest of every class.  
“I don't remember having any special kids in my classes.”  
“I'm the one who hugs the teacher every day?”  
“Ooh. You're the chromosome connoisseur that reminds the teacher about homework. Get lost, autist.”  
“No! The Pythagorean Theorem homework is really interesting!”  
“I said get lost, nerd.”  
I talked to someone else who knew me.  
“Help!”  
“Why should I risk my reputation helping a toddler like you?”  
“I'm not a toddler!”  
“Yes you are.”  
“How?!  
“You're small. And pretty autistic.”  
“...”  
“Hey...I should speak to you in your language. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”  
Everyone laughed. Not that his joke was unfunny and idiotic, but at me.  
“Hey Ness! Reee! Wanna play Sonic after school?” one of the football players that I would estimate their IQ to be about 85 said.  
I trembled, tears rolling down my face. Why is everyone mean?  
I clutched my notebook and Ubuntu.  
“Why did they let this extra-chromosomed being in this school?”  
Ubuntu howled.  
Then, I actually proved them right.  
“PLEASE! STOP! I'LL DO ANYTHING!”  
I screeched. Autistic screeched, if you will.  
“Ness! No! Don't take my chromosomes!”  
“Hey now, he'll PK Autism you if you say that.”  
“What's PK Autism?”  
“Weighted blankets on you!”

“I can't help it-c2F2ZSBtZSBmcm9tIHRoZSBwZW9wbGUgcG9pbnRpbmcgYW5kIGxhdWdoaW5n  
Slap.  
“YOU'RE WORTH NOTHING, RETARD!”  
Arata.  
I screeched.  
“Stop acting like a tragedy hero! This is all an elaborate act for sympathy!”  
“..”  
“How do we know if you're even disabled, huh? We know because only an autist like yourself would even think of asking anyone for help!”  
He grabbed me by the shoulders.  
“YOU'RE JUST DOING THIS TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL PITIFUL!”  
“Arata, stop!” A timid girl in my math class said.  
“Nice job earning those brownie points. You're used to them, anyway. Your little brother is just like this retard.”  
“DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM! J-Just because he has really, really, REALLY low-functioning autism doesn't mean he's…below you!”  
“He's gonna leech off you for the rest of his pitiful life!”  
“He brings so much laughter and joy to our lives! And this kid, while not being as far down the spectrum, probably brings a lot of joy to his family too!”  
“His mom probably wishes he wasn't even born, white knight!”  
I sniffled.  
“You're a real burden, Ness! Imagine if you were never born. Many parents of autistic children regret not terminating the pregnancy. It'd be all comfy cozy for your sister, father, and mom, if you were never born.”  
Tears flooded my eyes.  
“Maybe Tae Kusakabe decided to move to Japan to work at that technology company just to get away from you.”  
“M-M…”  
“You should have been shot at birth.”  
I screeched.  
“So, with that info in mind, what's the noble thing to do here? Knowing how much pain you've caused your family…”  
He chuckled.  
“If I were you, I'd probably put a bullet to my head.”  
Yamada laughed.  
“But let's say you have more will to live. Like you do anyway, Mr. Cyanide Coca Cola.”  
“I-I do have will to live.”  
“Well, I'll put it bluntly. Put a bullet through your head, or I'll give you a helping hand, and do it for you.”  
The timid girl said, “A-Are you saying you're gonna kill Ness? That's a threat!”  
“I don't care. I want his family to live the happy life they did before. Savant Syndrome or not, I want him dead.”  
“...”  
“Ness, listen, you enjoy your time left on this Earth, ok? I will spend the rest of my life behind bars if it means having the pleasure of ending your life.”  
“How do I know this isn't just some empty threat?”  
He gave me a cold stare.  
The bell rang, and I went to my robotics club. I was the president.  
I just kind of played with my pencil, saying nothing.  
“Let's build a really cool mecha robot that puts Neon Genesis Evangelion to shame!” one of my only friends, Atari said.  
“Mmm. Sounds cool.”  
The rest of the club cheered, and we began sketching blueprints.  
“You ok, Ness?”  
“No.”  
I'm normally happy and fluffy, but today, I couldn't act wholesome.  
Am I a burden? Does my mom regret giving birth to me?  
The bell rang, suddenly, and I screeched because it was so sudden and so loud.  
I'm just proving Arata's point.  
I rolled down the wheelchair ramp and slowly rolled to the bus stop, when I felt something sharp in my back. Almost like someone was stabbing me in the back.  
I turned around slowly.  
No one was there.  
Lucas doesn't have any clubs, so he gets home earlier than I do.  
Lucas walked to where I was.  
“Want me to push your chair?”  
“Mhm.”  
“What's wrong?”  
“I-I-”  
I wiped tears from my eyes, forgetting I had glasses.  
“What?”  
“I'm gonna die!”  
“N-Ness…”  
“Arata's gonna kill me and-”  
“No he isn't.”  
“Y-you don't understand! He said he'd shoot me! His parents have guns!”  
Lucas gulped.  
“I-I can p-protect you..”  
“I'm sorry.”  
“He's just making empty threats. Let's go home.”  
“Anyway, let me say hello again. Privet, Comrade Lucas.”  
Lucas laughed.  
“Let's go home.”  
“I'll go behind you.”  
“I'll race you!”  
Lucas ran and I rolled.  
When we got home,I limped to my lair, and put Ubuntu on my bed.  
I pulled the blankets over me and my dog.  
I cuddled with Ubuntu, giving him head pats and hugs.  
Lucas hid me by hugging me.  
I flapped.  
“I miss mom,” I muttered.  
“My comrade shall not have babushka separation!”  
“Yay.”  
“Arata is Western spy!”  
“No! Not cheeki breeki!”  
We giggled and talked in a fake Russian accent (i mean, we both have some russian ancestry so it's probably easy to fake one) but I couldn't help but think someone out there was constructing a plan to end me..


	21. NOTICE

this isn't a nesstech chapter nor do i claim it to be but there won't be any new chapters until i finish rewriting the whole fanfic  
this is for the better, and the rewritten chapters are funny and less insulting to the reader


End file.
